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Song Parodies -> "Love Client Number 9"

Original Song Title:

"Love Potion Number 9"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Searchers

Parody Song Title:

"Love Client Number 9"

Parody Written by:

Melanie Lee

The Lyrics

I've never written a parody so fast...I'm at home with a head cold and this news breaks on the TV...and I voted for the guy...
I had this client who was upper plate:
You know, the Governor of New York State.
I rode to D.C. to do some “wine and dine”
And some hanky-panky with
Love Client Number 9.

He said he rarely ran around with chicks
Since he got married circa ’86.
I took all his payment and make a “come here” sign.
I went to our room with
Love Client Number 9.

He bent down and turned around and gave me a kiss.
We drank ourselves a bottle of expensive Chabliss.
We smelled like fancy wine; we looked like Mister and Miss.
I pursed my lips, I closed my eyes, we had a tryst!

The New York Times exposed this awful flap.
It came to light due to a wiretap.
Now will this breaking scandal now force him to resign
Because of his adventures as
Love Client Number 9?

(instrumental break)

I pursed my lips, I closed my eyes, we had a tryst!

The New York Times exposed this awful flap.
It came to light due to a wiretap.
Now will this breaking scandal now force him to resign
Because of his adventures as
Love Client Number 9?

Love Client Number 9.
Love Client Number 9.
Love Client Number Ni-i-i-i-ine!
For the real story: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080310/ap_on_re_us/spitzer_prostitution http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/10/nyregion/10cnd-spitzer.html? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eliot_spitzer

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 31

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   2
 0
 1
 
 4   2
 6
 4
 
 5   26
 24
 25
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Stan Hall - March 11, 2008 - Report this comment
A grin, to be sure. Question is, re "number 9," did he _take_ a number for that assignation or _have_ a number in the narratrice's list of regulars? Whatever, looks like his number may be up.
John Barry - March 11, 2008 - Report this comment
I wonder if he did 6-9 wit' 9? Nice job. You beat me to it. I just finished a Spitz ditty that I'll submit today.
Patrick - March 11, 2008 - Report this comment
I was expecting someone to cover this story. Never expected it this fast. Very well done.
UnKnownVo - March 11, 2008 - Report this comment
Oh . . .. that ~ Emperors's Club ~ client # 9. He's soooo fine, Wish he were mine, all the time; but they're going to take him out, 'Cuz but my Retirement account is heading south !
alvin - March 11, 2008 - Report this comment
wonderfully written...it sings itself
Ravyn Rant - March 11, 2008 - Report this comment
Brava, Melanie! This was beautifully done. 555
Michael Pacholek - March 11, 2008 - Report this comment
I thought I was first, but you beat me to it. It's OK, although you cheated a little with the wine: It may be spelled "chablis," but it's pronounced "sha-BLEE." But rhyming it with "tryst" makes up for it. Good job.
Mark - March 11, 2008 - Report this comment
WHERE CAN I FIND AN MP3 OF THIS?
Jonathan - March 11, 2008 - Report this comment
man I wish I had your ability to write a parody this fast I'm STILL suffering with writer's block! 544
Harry - March 11, 2008 - Report this comment
Darn it! Double darn it! Triple darn it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! I was going to write this tonight! You beat me to it, Melanie. Great job. i think someone should record this and blast this all over NY. Yeah, this HAS to get on radio ASAP in NY!
AFW - March 11, 2008 - Report this comment
Extra clever, timely and all that stuff...loved it, voting number five
Ann Hammond - March 11, 2008 - Report this comment
awesome
Red Ant - March 11, 2008 - Report this comment
Aside from the minor quibble that "kiss" and "Chabliss" don't rhyme, this was a extremely fast turnaround on a news story. Very well done, Melanie, and now I can cross this idea off of my "list" (in record time, no less). 5s.
John Jenkins - March 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Melanie, you are to be commited for spoofing a Democrat - and for doing it well. This OS is a perfect fit for Client #9.
Melanie Lee - March 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks for the comments, guys! I deliberately spelled it "Chabliss" (two S's) so it would rhyme with "kiss". Now tell me who in NYC records song parodies and takes submissions! And don't let me deter you; you can write your "Number 9" spoofs, too! I'm looking forward to it! BTW, there may already be one in the works for the airwaves, according to something I read in the NY Daily News today. http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/tv/2008/03/12/2008-03-12_luv_guv_makes_inner_circle_spoof_change_.html
Melanie Lee - March 12, 2008 - Report this comment
It's happened: Spitzer resigned as of 10:55 am or so today. I'm not rejoicing, but I suppose it had to happen. http://www.nydailynews.com/news/2008/03/12/2008-03-12_gov_spitzer_resigns_in_wake_of_prostitut.html
Basil - March 12, 2008 - Report this comment
6 is afraid of 7 because 7, 8, 9 - - and Spitzer is #9 so the hooker must be #7 - so who's #6
Melanie Lee - March 13, 2008 - Report this comment
Here's another "Love Client Number 9" parody, at the blog Roger Catlin/TV Eye: http://blogs.courant.com/roger_catlin_tv_eye/2008/03/love-client-num.html And here's another parody, on a video, no less!: http://kara.allthingsd.com/20080312/love-client-number-9-eliot-spitzer-gets-mashed-up I wonder what YouTube might turn up!
LoveClient #0h - March 13, 2008 - Report this comment
I had to ReRead this again; it really is fine: that Client who was "upper plate" . . . does Spitzer wear dentures??
wally - March 15, 2008 - Report this comment
LOL, thank goodness New York is rid of spitzer! he was worse even than mario cuomo...
Tommy Turtle - July 16, 2008 - Report this comment
I *liked* the mangling of Chablis, and that type of poetic license in general. For your pro career, though, keep in mind that kind kind of stuff doesn't work as well on the air, as Joe Average driving to work during rush hour while shaving and talking on his iPod is gonna not get the joke :) The crowd here is much sharper than average, plus we get to see it in print. You become Client 5(55).
Geordie Lad - March 20, 2010 - Report this comment
I loved the original Love Potion...and I sang this through in the original tune. It was so funny and really rocked, I thought.
Meriadoc - November 21, 2012 - Report this comment
I think the Chabliss was pure genius!

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