my meat's not red for i can see she's cooked it black
no flavor anymore...my dinner is burned black
i know the poor girl tries...but how my horror grows
its just a waste of bread to buy meat, i suppose

my meat is nice and hard cause its been seared till black
what power, has my love, to screw up simple snacks
i see people burn their bread while making toast...okay
but my ditzy baby botches my meals every day

i am beside myself because my steak is black
if i were dining out, i'd send the whole mess back
maybe, i should throw away...i don't want to eat this crap
its not easy tasting food, when its been burned till black

you wrecked these groceries, so out the door, i threw
i will not force feed these things overcooked by you
if i chewed hard enough...i guess i could get done
but burnt stuff ain't for me...a mess, this has become

i hit the meat store and i buy some baby backs
can't take it anymore...she won't burn these ribs black
i grab the pan nearby...and in my dinner goes
i start to nod my head and soon i start to doze

(husband snores)

zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz
zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz
zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz
zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz

i wake up and its flamin'...plainly black
black alright..black as coal
its clearly overdone..i throw my hands to the sky
i wake up and its flamin' flamin' flamin'...plainly black
yeah

(wife laughs)

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha