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Song Parodies -> "Melvin Purvis Stakeout"

Original Song Title:

"19th Nervous Breakdown"

Original Performer:

The Rolling Stones

Parody Song Title:

"Melvin Purvis Stakeout"

Parody Written by:

David Chrenko

The Lyrics

It doesn't matter if you're climbing poles for the phone company or piloting a cruise ship around the South Pacific - at one time or another everybody gets fed up with their job. This is the tale of an anonymous young G-Man in 1930s Chicago . . .
He's the King of G-Men,
You must agree then – Purvis stands alone.
He's the reason why Hoover's FBI,
Is the curse of Al Capone.
Well, it seemed to me that I should have excitement in my time.
So I applied to FBI,
And signed the dotted line.

I ain't a cop . . . But look around.

Tommy guns . . . tommy guns . . . tommy guns . . . I've got one!
I'm on a Melvin Purvis stakeout.

In Chicago town Melvin gets around,
Blondes recline upon his knees.
Then he's fighting sin, smashing bathtub gin,
Catching public enemies.
His boss, J. Edgar Hoover runs around in women's clothes.
While Bugs Moran runs a hundred breweries under his nose.

I hear a shot! . . . Who's goin' down?

Tommy guns . . . tommy guns . . . Here we come . . . Duck and run.
I'm on a Melvin Purvis stakeout.

(That Confounded Bridge)
Now I'm away . . . it's Valentine's Day.
My girl is at home – I'm here at work.
And Melvin is with her – getting jerked. Oh, please

Now my red eyes strain,
Through the window pane,
Of this fleabag hotel.
Eatin' cold sardines and refried beans,
While Melvin plays the swell.
For the first time I realize that I'm his biggest chump.
Ain't enough cash to save my badge – when I flush it down the gump.

Ain't gonna stop . . . ‘til he goes down.
Here I come . . . here I come . . . on the run . . . have tommy gun . . .

Here comes a Melvin Purvis takedown.
Rat-ta-ta-Tat-ta-ta – Rat-ta-ta-Ta-ta-ta – Rat-ta-ta-Ta-ta-ta-Boom!
Here comes a Melvin Purvis takedown.
Rat-ta-ta-Tat-ta-ta – Rat-ta-ta-Ta-ta-ta – Rat-ta-ta-Ta-ta-ta-Boom!
Here comes a Melvin Purvis takedown.
Rat-ta-ta-Tat-ta-ta – Rat-ta-ta-Ta-ta-ta – Rat-ta-ta-Ta-ta-ta-Boom!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   5
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 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
high caliber...5s
David Chrenko - March 15, 2005 - Report this comment
DUDE! What'd you guys do while I was away - join the Apathy Club? Like yourselves, I write my parodies for you all to enjoy - but if nobody's interested in reading them . . . Ahhh hell, I'll use the printed copies to wrap fish. At least it won't be a total loss.
Airfarcewon - March 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Amazingly unique theme...and fascinating welding of words...Beyond 5's
David Chrenko - March 16, 2005 - Report this comment
HEY GANG... Did you ever write one you were particularly proud of...but somehow it sort of slipped under the radar virtually unnoticed? Well, for me, this is the one. Hope you'll come check it out.
Agrimorfee - March 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Very good...well worth the shameless plug. :) (i often don't get a response to new submissions for 3-5 days)
David Chrenko - March 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Agrimorfee. BTW, I've always been a fan of your work.

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