I had lunch today, at Golden Arches.
The grease just flowed, on my hand.
My hearts gonna need, some resuscitation,
When I eat this, half pounder man.

And McDonalds is food that will haunt.
Believe, this won't give your heart any jaunts.
McDonalds is food that will haunt.
If you eat it sometime, well,
You may well find, C.P.R. you'll need!

My kids frown, and want happy meals now, to get their next toy, that they choose.
Screaming, "We want our toys", in my eardrum.
If they don't quiet, I'll verge on abuse.
So, I took them, to the Golden Strokehall, to get their small pieholes filled.
I saw standing in line, their friend Johnny's daddy,
And wow, he sure looked pretty ill.
I suggested, that he should see a doctor,
His facial color, was cherry red.
I asked what happened, dad of Johnny?
He said that he was one Big Mac, short from "dead."

And McDonalds is food that will haunt, sonny.
This won't give your heart any jaunts.
McDonalds is food that will haunt.
Diffibulators find, yeah,
They get more than the use they should need!

I saw him again, at the hospital.
Before him was, a bleeding man.
When they heard John's dad, ate at Micky D's,
They yelled you're first, and that's STAT, man!

And McDonalds is food that will haunt, sonny.
This won't give your heart any jaunts.
McDonalds is food that will haunt.
If I eat more I die, yeah,
But the kids get the toys that they need!
(repeat)