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Song Parodies -> "McDonalds Is Food That Will Haunt"

Original Song Title:

"You Can't Always Get What You Want"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Rolling Stones

Parody Song Title:

"McDonalds Is Food That Will Haunt"

Parody Written by:

Mark Scotti

The Lyrics

Does that Happy Meal come with "Heart Paddles"???
I had lunch today, at Golden Arches.
The grease just flowed, on my hand.
My hearts gonna need, some resuscitation,
When I eat this, half pounder man.

And McDonalds is food that will haunt.
Believe, this won't give your heart any jaunts.
McDonalds is food that will haunt.
If you eat it sometime, well,
You may well find, C.P.R. you'll need!

My kids frown, and want happy meals now, to get their next toy, that they choose.
Screaming, "We want our toys", in my eardrum.
If they don't quiet, I'll verge on abuse.
So, I took them, to the Golden Strokehall, to get their small pieholes filled.
I saw standing in line, their friend Johnny's daddy,
And wow, he sure looked pretty ill.
I suggested, that he should see a doctor,
His facial color, was cherry red.
I asked what happened, dad of Johnny?
He said that he was one Big Mac, short from "dead."

And McDonalds is food that will haunt, sonny.
This won't give your heart any jaunts.
McDonalds is food that will haunt.
Diffibulators find, yeah,
They get more than the use they should need!

I saw him again, at the hospital.
Before him was, a bleeding man.
When they heard John's dad, ate at Micky D's,
They yelled you're first, and that's STAT, man!

And McDonalds is food that will haunt, sonny.
This won't give your heart any jaunts.
McDonalds is food that will haunt.
If I eat more I die, yeah,
But the kids get the toys that they need!
(repeat)
Copyright 2009

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 0
 
 2   0
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 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 0
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 5   13
 13
 13
 

User Comments

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alvin - March 11, 2009 - Report this comment
nice job on a tough tune...especially liked the big mac line
Mark Scotti - March 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin! I had a little heartburn writing it...
John Barry - March 11, 2009 - Report this comment
A fine reminder of why not to eat this sh!t.
Jim Rotondo - March 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Well written Mark, love the small pieholes line. I downloaded "Supersize Me" last week but haven't watched it yet...but now I'm inspired.
Harry - March 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Thank you Mark. And to think I used to go in to eat those cheap cheeseburgers six at a time. But that was a long time ago.
Christie Marie M - March 11, 2009 - Report this comment
I remembered last year I ate at Mickey D's and this guy who was one booth before me clutched his heart and moaned in agony. The whole staff had to call 911 for an ambulance. He had a heart attack at McDonalds, probably eating Big Mac. Yeah, McDonalds may be loaded with cholesterol, but it's one of my fave fast food places next to Burger King. Great job, Mark. Here's 555 Big Mac's. BTW, this is the third Mickey D's parody I responded to today.
Mark Scotti - March 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Just got on late, so SUPERSIZED thanks to John, Jim, Harry, and Christie!!!!! Amazingly enough, I just read a recent article, listing the most healthy(that still doesn't mean it's good for you), fast food places, and McDonalds was listed as one of the better ones. Personally, I think it was written by an unknown "clown"!!! That's my unhealthy rant of the day!!!!
2Eagle - March 11, 2009 - Report this comment
McDonalds does have healthier alternatives, but I go to their drive thrus and avoid the crowds and screaming kids. They have to maintain their business. I avoid Burger King.
Mark Scotti - March 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, and an order of apple dippers to you, 2Eagle...
TJC - March 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Mark... excellent work... I can see how your parodies rate airtime... your demonstrated prolific nature, too, seems well suited to the medium (and AIR's)... write on, wry don!
Andy Primus - March 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Too true, MuckDonalds food is crap
Mark Scotti - March 12, 2009 - Report this comment
McThanks to you, Andy!!!
Rotten Tomato - March 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Awesome job! You've reminded me yet again why I only eat there in times of sheer desperation.
Mark Scotti - March 12, 2009 - Report this comment
And a SUPERSIZED thanks to you, RT!!!
Mark Scotti - April 13, 2009 - Report this comment
To TJ, a belated thanks. I just saw your past comment on my last review....
Guy - October 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Mark - I think a Big Mack truck would be better for you than a Mickey-D's "Big-Mac". If I had to eat one or ta udder, I'd take the truck. At least I'd get some iron out of it. Nice parody.
Mark Scotti - October 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Guy! It is a big McDeath!!!
brightCAP - June 18, 2012 - Report this comment
At least the kids got their toys! I'm imagining this as a commercial..but don't get your hopes up for that. My favorite line is "You may well find, C.P.R. you'll need!"
Porfle Popnecker - June 18, 2012 - Report this comment
Funny even though I like fast food. Trouble is, it used to be cheap and now it's gotten about as costly as eating in a restaurant. Then again, I remember when a restaurant dinner cost less than two bucks.
Andria - June 19, 2012 - Report this comment
I hate Mickey D's with a burning passion and have lately been avoiding fast food in favor of food carts and small, local quick-serving places when I eat out. Wonderful work and 5s... can't believe I never commented before, it was a new parody during my heyday here.
Mark Scotti - June 19, 2012 - Report this comment
A "Bromo" and thanks to brightCap(welcome to the contest!), Porfile(YOUUUU SAID IT about the expense. Pretty rediculus to spend 35-40 dollars just for fast food to feed my family!), and Andria(Yes, it was one of my earlier entries, but better late than never...)
McMatthias - June 20, 2012 - Report this comment
This McParody was Super Sized with laughs and high fat content. This deserves more 5s than the Big Mac has calories.
Agrimorfee - June 20, 2012 - Report this comment
I have eaten at the McD more often now, thanks to my kid. We are trying though to instil in him the sense that it is a treat, not a everyday occurence. 555 calories.
Mark Scotti - June 21, 2012 - Report this comment
A "Super Sized" amount of thanks to McMatthias(LOL!!!), and Agri!
Blaydeman - June 21, 2012 - Report this comment
(ABC) Classic topic, and another classic from Mark Scotti. Great job!
bobpiecheese - June 21, 2012 - Report this comment
(ABC) Well, this was just depressing. Seriously, I did not get any laughs from this, it was all "Maccas will kill you, Maccas will kill you and all your loved ones and sometimes I feel like beating my kids because they're too noisy". I understand what you were trying to do, but the kinda somber tone of the OS kinda killed any light-heartedness you were going for. Sorry, man.
Mark Scotti - June 22, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks to Blayde and bobpie(no bad taken, this was not for everyone's "tastes"...LOL)
Abbott Skelding - June 22, 2012 - Report this comment
Maybe it's just me, but this was pretty hard to follow. And I have to agree with bobpiecheese, not a whole lot of laughs in here either. Nice job though.
Mark Scotti - June 25, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks, Abbott. This one was more on the "sarcastic" humor lines....

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