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Song Parodies -> "Little Bit Of COBOL"

Original Song Title:

"Little Bit Of Soul"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Music Explosion

Parody Song Title:

"Little Bit Of COBOL"

Parody Written by:

Tim K.

The Lyrics

The joys of late-night programming...
Now when C is too slow and Java takes all night
You need a little bit o' COBOL to put things right
You gotta code with classes & loops that way
And then a little bit o' COBOL will save the day

Now when BASIC won't work & your If's aren't 'True'
You need a little bit o' COBOL to see you through
And when you raise the roof with your Fortran, oh
You'll get a lot more kicks with a little bit o' COBOL

And when your program faults 'cause your statements aren't proven
A little bit o' COBOL and it really starts movin', yeah

And when your code's a mess and you feel like cryin'
Just remember this little song of mine
And as you program in Delphi tryin' to reach your goal
Just remember what I said about a little bit o' COBOL

A little bit o' COBOL, yeah (a little bit o' COBOL)....

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Guy - December 25, 2003 - Report this comment
Tim - Well done, I'm sprouting you on the slight pace problem with COBOL versus SOLE and fiving it anyway. I wrote my first COBOL program circa 1970 in school using paper tape input on a dial up remote teletypewriter, with a real phone dial.. What took me several months to accomplish could now be done in an afternoon using something like Notepad. Do you write code for a living?

IF MDATE = "12/25/03" PERFORM MERRY CHRISTMAS THRU SCORE.
RETURN. AND IF P-PACE=5 AND P-FUNNY=5 AND P-OVERALL=.5
WRITE SCORE TOTAL TO SCORE TALLY.
Guy - December 25, 2003 - Report this comment
Whoops "COMPILE ERROR - CORRECT AND RECOMPILE"
Missed the carriage return between second and third line.

IF MDATE = "12/25/03" PERFORM MERRY CHRISTMAS THRU SCORE.
RETURN.
AND IF P-PACE=5 AND P-FUNNY=5 AND P-OVERALL=.5
WRITE SCORE TOTAL TO SCORE TALLY.
Johnny D - December 25, 2003 - Report this comment
Count me, too, as another (former) COBOL programmer - well done. Well, not totally "former" - I occasionally have to look at COBOL now and then even today...
Tim K. - December 25, 2003 - Report this comment
Well, I don't program for a living, but I am a programming student so that explains my inspiration. I know BASIC, I'm studying Java and I'm trying to learn C# on my own. I personally, have only glanced at COBOL a couple of times seeing as how it is more or less a dead language today. I feel quite glad that I didn't have to program in 'The Old Days' without a GUI to help. :D

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