a long time ago...i was young and green
i saw me some videos...like i'd never seen
and that was the point where my life was reborn
i found i was too consumed by porn

i watched folks a-sinnin'...and i soon found it plain
that i found the act...neither sick or strange
i saw things all over...transforming in my view
into a thing, brand new

i dug grain elevators and long necked geese
a hump on a camel made my mind run free
all baseball bats and pussycats...just left my psyche, torn
i found i was too consumed by porn

i couldn't watch games...where they used a ball
a girl playin' flute...just made my poor heart stall
assembly instructions...involvin' bolts and screws
would leave me quite unglued

the voice of darth vader...would cause me heat
the sword of mark hammil made my lust, complete
a pickle, fat..would knock me flat...or even stalks of corn
i found i was too consumed by porn

evil things leaked from my wicked brain
cause that gosh darned porn musta caused a sprain
i used to be normal...but now i'm so forlorn
i found i was too consumed by porn

well, i needed some rehabbin'...all twisted up inside
a simple banana ?...at the sight...i cried
so some doctors, i found and my cure got underway
and that's why i don't look at porn...to this very day

see a tail on some gator...its just a beast
a triple deck sandwich ?...why, its just a feast
i catch an act of acrobats ?...i just watch them perform
i find that i ain't consumed by porn