Ooh-ooo-oo-ooo-oo-ooo-oo-ooooo (simulated Frankie Valli sounds)
I - Won't - Eat - Spaaa-aammmm.

Oh, how you've tried . . . To spoon it down inside,
Open up real wide, my Mama says.
I just won't eat it . . . Not even if you heat it.
There's one food I never will injest.
( It's Spa-am . . . )

I won't eat Spam . . . Don't smother it in jam.
It don't taste like ham well done.
I've even tried . . . to eat it boiled and fried.
'Til I nearly died on so-ome.

Ooh-ooo-oo-ooo-oo-ooo-oo-ooooo ( more simulated Frankie sounds)

I was able . . . to sneak under the table,
And feed a bunch to our old hound.
He licked the plate off . . . and howled as he ran off.
And now he's six feet underground.
( I'm singin' . . . )

I won't eat Spam . . . I'll take it on the lamb.
I'm not eating spam for you-ou-ou-ou.
It won't taste good . . . I doubt it's really food.
So, don't try to feed me so-ome.

Ooh-ooo-oo-ooo-oo-ooo-oo-ooooo ( more than enough Frankie)

Bye-bye, Spammie, you make my hands go clammy.
Go torture brother, Sammy, if you can.
He won't like you . . . Just like a ball, he'll spike you.
There's spam stuck to our ceiling now.
( Sing with me . . . )

We won't eat Spam . . . forget about it, Ma'am.
So, don't bring it through the do-o-o-or.
We'll tell the world . . . We think we're gonna hurl.
We ain't eatin' Spam no mo-ore.

( Ooo-oo-ooo-oo...well, you get the idea )