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Song Parodies -> "My Beat-up Old Bassoon"

Original Song Title:

"Up Up and Away"

Original Performer:

The Fifth Dimension

Parody Song Title:

"My Beat-up Old Bassoon"

Parody Written by:

Mari Aranoff

The Lyrics

While writing this, I realized how many freaking times "my beautiful balloon" was repeated in the original. And it just cried out for a bassoon parody! This one is dedicated to my friend Rufus, with whom I play in a woodwind quintet; he's the bassoonist. He has a shop where he repairs wind instruments of every size and type. It's amazing what people do to their horns (a term sometimes used for all wind instruments).
Would you like to work on my beat-up old bassoon?
There's substantial murk in my beat-up old bassoon
Could you make this piece of crap sound decent? Will it fly?
Well, you could try, you could try

Don't throw it away
My beat-up old, my beat-up old bassoon

I know I've not been kind to my beat-up old bassoon
Some moss is what you'll find in my beat-up old bassoon
You will think it's dumb, but chewing gum's stuck in the keys
Well, you could try, you could try

Don't throw it away
My beat-up old, my beat-up old bassoon

I've heard that you can fix almost anything
With crumpled keys, severe cracks and dog bites
And at your work station you've seen many things
You've put in lots of late nights
But never dealt with termites

You were waiting there with my beat-up old bassoon
With a painful stare at my beat-up old bassoon
You said to retire my horn, set fire to it right now
Hopeless, and how - and how!

Don't know what to say
'Bout my beat-up old, my beat-up old bassoon
Fumigate today
That beat-up old, that beat up old bassoon!
RAD & MAD are hanging out at

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Johnny D - January 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Mari D, you are, quite simply, a genius. 5's
Jan Unwin - January 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Your song was instrumental in making me laugh.
Meriadoc - January 20, 2004 - Report this comment
I've always had a fondness for bassoons... :-)
Mari D - January 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Johnny, Jan & Meri! I now have oboe and bassoon parodies... wonder what instrument will be next?
Johnny D - January 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I know what instrument I'd parody!
Mari D - January 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny, we ALL know what instrument you'd parody!
Johnny D - January 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh you may THINK you know.....but a symphony orchestra's got a lot to choose from.....heh heh heh......or maybe it's not a traditional orchestra instrument......snickersnickernyuknyuknyuk
Paul Robinson - January 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Mari D - I would have gotten around to checking this one out bassooner (Oh, that's an absolutely MISERABLE pun!) but...And I'd thought about trying to parody this song previously but all I was able to come up with to rhyme with "bassoon" has been "baboon", and I really don't know much about baboon's except the human variety. At the risk of sounding like Forest Gump or Fritz The Cat I might mention that the heavy-set fellow in the Fifth-Dimension (can't recall his name right now) used to work at Dorsey High School in the Crenshaw area of Los Angeles as a Janitor or Maintenance Man either before joining the group or at least before they took off (that was while my brother, David, was going there) as a popular group. My brain is a TRAP for that kind of CRAP and if you queue it up with a reference it'll hunt it up and I'll spew it out. FYI - I went to Dorsey in 1965-1966 until we moved to the Valley, Van Nuys High after that, even after I moved to North Hollywood (Who wants to switch High Schools in their Senior Year? didn't tell the school and just took the bus). 'nuff of that...for now...
Hen - January 23, 2004 - Report this comment
I think I just ruptured what's left of my spleen.

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