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Song Parodies -> "Glare"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

The Cowsills/Broadway Cast

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Jack Wilson

The Lyrics

My "Hair"-ody ;)
She asked me why?
Why? My head is bright
It's glarey noon and nighty night night
It sure looks a fright
It's bald high and low
Don't ask me why
Cause he don't know
It's not for any thread
Just a big bald head

Gimme a head with glare
Bright, beautiful glare
Shiny, seeming
Gleaming, flat and waxened

Took it all off with nair
Put no Rogaine in it
Here baby, there mama
Everywhere daddy daddy

Glare, glare, glare, glare, glare, glare, glare
Show it, blow it
Light as I can shine it
My glare

It gets cold in the breeze
But I never would freeze
I have no hair follicle in my glate
A home for breeze
A shine everyone sees
No sitting of bird
There ain't no words
For the beauty, the splendor, the wonder
Of my...

Glare, glare, glare, glare, glare, glare, glare
Show it, blow it
Light as I can shine it
My glare

I had hair long, straight, curly, fuzzy
Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty
Oily, greasy, fleecy
Shining, gleaming, streaming
Flaxen, waxen
Knotted, polka-dotted
Twisted, beaded, braided
Powdered, flowered, and confettied
Bangled, tangled, spangled, and spaghettied!

Oh say can you see
Any side hair, if you can
Then my glare won't show

Shine right here
Shine right there
Shine to where
It stops by itself

They'll be ga ga, when it shows shows
And they think Im Dr. Evil
Or Vin Diesel
Because of my bright
Siny, beautiful glare

My glare like the bald wear it
Hallelujah I adore it
Hallelujah It shows in the sun
My head is so glarey

Glare, glare, glare, glare, glare, glare, glare
Show it, blow it
Light as I can shine it

My glare
Glare, glare, glare, glare, glare, glare, glare
Show it, blow it
Light as I can shine it
My glare
Comments? Suggestions? etc Email me at

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Melhi - January 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice job!!
Jack Wilson - January 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Melhi!
Johnny D - January 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job, Jack - this is a difficult song to parody, and I should know - I've written "Cher" and "Nair".

I give you 5 for Overall - your idea is coherent and clever.

I give you 5 for How Funny - the idea of blinding light glaring off someone's bald head and making people squint is pretty funny!

I had a little trouble with judging you on Pacing, but I decided to give you a 5. The rating number 5 does not mean "Perfect", it simply means "Lots" - and I decided that while your pacing is definitely far from perfect, it works in "Lots" of places.

So congratulations, Jack, keep up the humorous, clever writing, and concentrate on improving your pacing - pacing is the key to many individuals' enjoyment of a parody. I recommend you try doing what I myself do: literally count the syllables, line by line, of your parody, making sure they are as close as possible to the corresponding syllables of the original song.
Johnny D - January 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Jack - just to quickly clarify a statement I made in my preceeding comment - when I say to count your parody's syllables line-by-line and make sure they match the original's as closely as possible, I just mean the number of syllables on each line....not necessarily how each syllable sounds....but if you can both match the original song's number-of-syllables-per-line and also rhyme your syllables with the original song's corresponding syllables, then you are well on your way to becoming a Parody Master!
Jack Wilson - January 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Okay, Ill do that! Thanks, Johnny! Sorry about the pacing on this one, the first verse is like The Cowsills' verison of the song with "nighty night night "and everything LOL
Leo Jay - May 08, 2004 - Report this comment
5-5... 5-5-5... 5-5-5... tried it, liked it, hope you get excited by... 5-5... 5-5-5... 5-5-5... read it, get it, hope you're not upset at my... 5-5... 5-5-5... 5-5-5...

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