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Song Parodies -> "The Evil Jason Blair"

Original Song Title:

"Hair"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Cowsills

Parody Song Title:

"The Evil Jason Blair"

Parody Written by:

The Minister Of Reality

The Lyrics

New York Times reporter/columnist Jason Blair was fired for plagerism and lying. After his firing, he mocked the "stupid" editors fooled by his phony prose. In his own words...
They asked me why
I'm such an evil guy
I'm fibbing day and night
My words are a sight
I'm lying high and low
Don't ask me why
Said so
It's not for a lack of brains
Like the great Coltrane
Darling

I'm Jason Blair
Evil Jason Blair
Lyin', teasin'
Lackin' factses, taxin', slackin'

I don't give a care Blair
Don't work here any longer
Here sucker, there muther
Everywhere the Mack Daddy

Blair, Blair, Blair, Blair, Blair, Blair, Blair
Flaunted, undaunted
Long as I am wanted
I'm Blair

I'm a perfect little tease
I'm as concealed as a flea
No one here can please like Blair
Man of low degree
You're down my knees
Hey, there you nerd
Can't beat my words
You're a moron, the foil, and the turd
Compared to...

Blair, Blair, Blair, Blair, Blair, Blair, Blair
Flaunted
Long as I am wanted
I'm Blair

So I'm a liar, cheater, dirty birdy
Your insults are still absurdy
Oily, eely, greasy
I'm shinin', gleamin', grinnin'
Facts are tactless
Rotten, ill-forgotten
Twisted, piss-ed, nothin'
Rip-ped, stripp-ed and confettied
My words are so sharp (and Machettied!)

Oh say can you see
That my ass has been canned
That's the Blair report

Down to heck
Down to streets
Down to seed
I'll work my myself

I'll be ga-ga at the go-go
When I take their shread of mojo
My mojo made of glitter
Brilliantied
Cynical Blair

J. Blair you can't deny it
Hallelujah I'm a riot
Hallelujah, I love this fun
Why don't the brothers love me?

Blair, Blair, Blair, Blair, Blair, Blair
Flaunted, undaunted
Long as I am wanted
I'm Blair, Blair, Blair, Blair, Blair, Blair, Blair
Flaunted, I'm undaunted
Long as I am wanted
I'm Bla-a-a-i-i-i-r-r-r-!

(End)*
*Maniacal laughter, ala Vincent Price's laugh at the end of Michael Jackson's "Thriller".

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User Comments

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Jonathan C. - May 28, 2003 - Report this comment
If you want to peruse into this fiction, read Blair's book. But if I were you, I would wait for the library to supply it so that I might bypass wasting 35 bucks on this self-righteous tyrant.
John Jenkins - May 28, 2003 - Report this comment
Good rhyming, good pacing, good humor - confettied and machettied - clever!

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