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Song Parodies -> "My Pants Weighed Low"

Original Song Title:

"I Can't Say No"

Parody Song Title:

"My Pants Weighed Low"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

When the 2004 story of Sandy Berger "borrowing" classified documents resurfaced in December 2006, I wondered whether someone at the National Archives had "looked the other way", perhaps a female employee held over from the previous Administration. I recalled that Ado Annie in Oklahoma was "in a holiday mood", so I decided to model that obliging person after her. This account is fictional. Read a recent version of the original words at http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/oklahoma/icantsayno.htm .
It ain't so much a question of not knowin' what to do;
I've known what's right and wrong since I was trained,
When national security was thought to be Code Blue;
But now that sense of laxity has waned.
I know I mustn't let out one secret;
But when it's (yawn) Code Yellow, I forget.

I'm just a girl who can't say "No".
I'm in a terrible state.
I often say "Just let it go",
If that will help me to rate.

When a person takes a document,
I know I oughta give his clothes a pat.
But when he was this full-figured gent,
I somehow sorta thought each bulge was fat.

Though I could see his profile grow
As he stuffed without restraint,
I dared not make a complaint.
His record was without taint;
His pants weighed low!

Whatcha gonna do when a fella acts important,
And hints at great portent. Whatcha gonna do?
S'posin' that he says that it's really quite urgent
And acts the insurgent. Whatcha gonna do?

S'posin' that he says that he's in a big hurry,
And he's gotta just scurry and fly.
Whatcha gonna do when he talks that way?
Call him a spy?

Friendship with ev'ry boss I know
Is what I strive to achieve.
This then is what I believe:
It's better to give than aggrieve.
His pants weighed low!

I'm just a fool who feels a glow,
Helping a colleague who'll ask.
With or without his Need to Know,
I'll seldom take him to task.

Other girls ask proof of Clearance,
But other girls ain't makin' many friends.
This is how I'll gain endearance:
I've bet no one will bite the hand that lends.

If you don't have a Need to Know,
Walk in; I'll wish you "Godspeed".
This then is how I'll succeed,
Making this motto my creed:
I can't say "No"!
If you sing this in public and people drop silver, keep it; but drop a note to me at bjmitchel@att.net .

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