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Song Parodies -> "Jack's Night In The Slammer"

Original Song Title:

"Maxwell's Silver Hammer"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Jack's Night In The Slammer"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Another in my series of "Why it's a good idea to stay out of Jail." parodies.
Jack was sent to jail, found that he could not make bail
He knew he was screwed
Cons would treat him rude; they'd molest him, ohh oh oh oh
They forced sex on him; he prayed for this night to end
Wished that he was home
Is there some way out of this fix here? No-oh-oh-oh
And as the next con stood above him
one came in from behind

Jail bang, Jack's night in the slammer
was just as he had dread
Jail bang, Jack's poor pimply anus
real sore and now so red

In his bunk at ten Jack is made the punk again
Rough con sex, oh sh*t
Not pleased one small bit; he was getting ream-he-he-heamed
His butt in the air; convicts took their turns in there
"Oh, my sore behind
this is so unkind, this should not be so, oh oh oh"
But they are not through with his rear yet
one more's at his behind

Jail bang, Jack's night in the slammer
was what he did expect
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Jail bang, Jack's butt did get hammered
By vicious dudes, erect

When those cons were done, Jack could not sit on his buns
Had to stand all night
Aching, kept his butt to the cell wall, ohh oh oh oh
Bruised and battered rear; how could he get out of here?
There must be some way (hope it is today)
How, Jack could not see; this is Hell, he kno-oh-oh-ows
And now a con is grabbing his hips
and fondling his behind

Jail bang, Jack's night in the slammer
was rough upon his rear
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Jail bang, Jack's butt sure got hammered
hoped that the end was near
Oww oww oww OH!
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

His rear hammered; Ouch!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   3

User Comments

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Johnny D - August 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Yee-OW! 5's
Paul Robinson - August 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, JD. OH...there's also a slightly more graphic version of this one over in "whatfreaks" this morning.
mac - August 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Painfully funny.
Paul Robinson - August 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, mac...
Michael Pacholek - September 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Maybe that's why Maxwell killed the judge.
Paul Robinson - September 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Michael P. Well, that might just be...but then he would be in for a lot more nights like the one in this parody - OUCHH!!!

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