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Song Parodies -> "When I Hit the Floor"

Original Song Title:

"When I'm Sixty-Four"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"When I Hit the Floor"

Parody Written by:

Rod Worden

The Lyrics

Some age gracefully. Others, well ..
When I get older, peeing my bed
Screaming with Tourette's..
Will you watch me smile as I rip wet-fart gas?
Or knock me down and hose-whip my ass.

If I chug prune juice, limp for the can,
And don't make the door--
Will you attack me, will you still smack me?
When I hit the floor.

-- Gum-ming plugs of chewww!! --
Bad breath, loud flatulence

I could be handy, go to the mart,
(When I'm out of beer)
Hungry, you sit wondering if I'll bring canned stew
While I plan my change of venue..

Trolling for crack hoes, looking for head,
Pants down at the store..
Will you nut-kick me, will you night-stick me?
When I hit the floor.

Every summer I could rent a Hummer,
Max the cred-it cards until they're re-voked.
I shall drift and burnnn!!
Four tons of steel--at speed!--

Show me the tractor, I'll do the lawn,
Gas it round the yard!
Wrestle with a cold-pack-beer (to keep me cool)
Mash the fence down, into the pool.

Mooning the neighbors, farting in church,
Scratching evermore..
Will you assist me, or will you fist me?
When I hit the floor.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   4

User Comments

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Kristof Robertson - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Lordy, Rod!! "Will you assist me, or will you fist me?" takes some cajones to write a line like that. Well done 555
Phil Alexander - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
It is rather good, isn't it?
Melhi - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Very funny!
Rick D - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Where you been, Rod? We missed you.
Johnny D - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Heh heh you said fist heh heh 555
Rod - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks folks for your kind words. This piece of crap was one I hit a wall with some time back and put on the shelf. Upon reading it again, I think I should have left it there!! (I'm not going to quit my day job) Thanks again, fellow enablers.
Joelle - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Rod - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Joell! You do realize you are ill, right? = )
alvin rhodes - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
fun to sing along with...5s
Michael Pacholek - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Funny as this was, it's been done: "When I'm 84" was done by someone who shall remain shameless when it was revealed that Sir Cute One was going to be a father again at age 62. Then again, you're right about one thing: The original wasn't one of Paul's best. But then, neither is Heather Mills. Where have you gone, Jane Asher?
Rick D - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
And someone else who shall remain nameless has already written "Now I'm Sixty-Four"
Rod - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin and Michael! Michael, I checked out your shameless plug and got a great kick out of it. The level of talent on this site really blows (me away)! Seriously, it does.
Rod - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Hi Rick! Check out your comments on that one, loved it!
Rick D - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
If you're ever our way, love to jam. We obviously know some songs together. As for the energy, I work really well with a deadline. I set myself a goal to write one of these a day. And I've always found time to record. I notice I'm doing far less originals since I got here. But the way I look at it, I can do what I did with Johnny D. I can take the parody words and easily work them into an original, if the mood hits me.
Claude Prez - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Tons of fun; glad you shared. I did laugh out loud at the fist line.
Rick D - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
We make a trip to Placerville at least every year. That might be doable. We got married there. Figured if you're gonna tie the knot, it might as well be in Hangtown.
Rod - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Claude, you are sick. And you are one of the funniest writers ever.
Rod - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick: LOL!!
Rick D - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh, and write more, you need to get on the list. After 25, you can put in a bio.
Rod - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick! You crack me up! I'm not to 10, yet, let aone 25. Not sure if I'll even stick around for same. You folks rock, tho, love ya!!
Royce Miller - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Rod, really enjoyable
Rod - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Hi Royce, thanks! If you enjoyed this, you're warped, unlike myself, who -- WAIT-- i think i hear VOICES..
Paul Robinson - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job here, Rod 5's - But I'm sure staying away from Auburn and that neck of the woods. Sounds like they got no respect for the elderly and the last time I checked that was pretty close to being me.
Rod - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Paul! Just went to your author page and after looking at the titles figured we were probably in about the same age group. I read your parody of 'Every Day' (great job!) and learned that I'm 3 yrs older than you. (My birthday was just this Mon) Does that make me the oldest coot here? Or just the most flatulent?
Rick D - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm 6/6 dday. A fellow Gemini.
Rod - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Is it a blessing or a curse? I haven't figured out which, but one thing I do know: I feel more like I do now than when I got here!
Meriadoc - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
I feel so young now! :-D
Rod - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, M! And you lloook mahvallous!
Paul Robinson - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Rod, Well that makes you the oldest amongst the coots who will cop to their age. There may be older and cootier author's out there but they are keeping their dentures and prune juice in the closet.
Rod - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul: Too bad, don't ya think? I find the 'anonymity factor' of this site both humorous and sad. You are one who tends to wear it on your sleeve, as do I, but most don't. To me, as far as comments (and life in general) goes, "Out-Front" is where it's at. Lay it on the table, babe, we're all in this mess together! BTW, back to the music: Anybody out there a fan of the likes of David Grisman, Sam Bush, Tim O'Brien, Bela Fleck, Nashville Bluegrass Band, Doc Watson, Tony Rice, Del McCoury, Rob Ickes, Nancy Griffith, Alison Krause-- I could go on and on, but it's not necessary, right?..
Paul Robinson - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Rod, Well, everybody has their own way of seeing and doing things. For me, I figure if I have something to say I ought to stand behind it or not say it to begin with. If I have the urge to say something I'm not willing to attach my name to maybe that particular remark is just not worthy of being placed in a public forum. As you say, "Lay it on the table". As far as those artists you mentioned I'm afraid the best I can do is to say I have heard of a few of them. And I think I've actually heard Nancy Griffith, although it was singing back-up on a song by a guy named John Gorka (who is a pretty decent artist and musician, by the way).
John Gorka - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul, well said. Rod's rant aside, I must admit, I have read some pretty funny, pointedly critical, anonymous comments from time to time. As long as they're humorous without being outright nasty, sometimes a comment from, say for example, the "artist", can add some spice.
Paul Robinson - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
John Gorka, Thanks! Good point. By the way, my brother, David, turned me on to some of your stuff a few years back. He liked your writing style, it was close to what he considered his; sort of an "Urban Folk" - and he had a couple of CD's that someone burned titled "Selections from 'After Yesterday & Land of the Bottom Line' * John Gorka" and also "John Gorka - Jack's Crows" that he played for me a number of times when I was over at his place. He also learned to play a few of the songs from them. Sadly, he passed away in November, 2000. I ended up with the CD's, which I still enjoy. But they are a bit worse for the wear now. Now I need to go out and spend a bit of money and replace them and maybe pick up a bit of your other work. I recently looked at your discography in the guide. You've got a lot of music out there! Man, when I saw some of them at a local Barnes & Noble I wanted to buy then but they wanted $19 at the time. I hope the price has come down a bit. I personally don't 'pirate', so I must pay, but I can't afford them all, especially at once. Have to decide on maybe a couple. P.S. - I'm not sure of the exact song titles because they are not shown on the burned disks but I really like "(I Walk) Where the Bottles Break" (gritty and to the point), "Land of The Bottom Line"(my job with a large Corporation just got sent elsewhere on 12/31, 'nuff said), "Raven In The Storm" (great dark imagery) , the one about "Cypress Trees(really a sweet, beautiful song. lovely harmony with whoever that young lady is)", "Amber Lee" (that one is great, think I might have known her too, more or less), "Dream Street"(perhaps a trite comment but this one does "pack a powerful punch" - Another well-written, gritty bit of truth-telling. I really like the way you wove the fighter's names into the song, 'Dream Street is callin'...Larry' , etc), "January Floor (reminds me of a few people, including myself sometimes)", "Semper Fi" (A touching story, and a good reminder why FDR should remain on the dime and not be replaced by the recently deceased former President. They should create a new "Zero" dollar bill for him in my humble opinion.) and the whimsically funny , but sad "Prom Night In Pig Town"(whimsically funny, but sad...where have I heard that before?). Other stuff is good, too, but those are my favorites from those two CD's. I seem to recall from the "allmusic" guide that you are based in the East, maybe New Jersey. Do you ever play out here in Los Angeles? Well, as often is the case, I ramble here. Guess that's enough for now...
John - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul, did you used to work at a car wash in L.A.?
Paul Robinson - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
John - OH, YEAH. MANY of them. The one I referenced was "National Car Wash" on Laurel Cyn & Oxnard in North Hollywood. We also owned (at various times) Bill's Car Wash (now Crenshaw Car Wash) in the Baldwin Hills area, Morrie's Car Wash in No. Hollywood, Valley Car Wash on Van Nuys Blvd., Red Carpet Car Wash on Washington in L.A., and one in Encino that I can't recall the name of right now (we just referred to it as "Encino" in our conversations, but it had a different name). This was all during the period from about 1961 through around 1976. We didn't own them all simultaneously and some we owned more than once . I also came back to Crenshaw Car Wash in 1986 to run it for a year for a relative who had to take it back from a delinquent buyer. Any of those ring any bells for you, John? You've got me kind of curious now.
Rod - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul, check out the comment at 9:41 and note the quotation marks around the word "artist". Do you still think that was Gorka?
Paul Robinson - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Rod, re: the 9:41 comment. Usually, when I see an Artists' name in the comments here I tend to think it's someone playing around but in this case I think it quite possibly is Gorka. You know, I can't remember if my brother said he met Gorka or not, so I didn't say anything about it in the earlier comment. But he may have, and if he did he might have mentioned something about our family background in the Car Wash business. That's why the question from "John" at 2:50 pm piqued my interest a bit more. He may have used quotation marks around "artist" because I used that word in the comment right above that one to refer to Gorka. Anyway, that's my take on it, but no one can really be sure on-line.
Rod - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
No one, except the person who wrote it ! And, Paul, I didn't mean to be deceptive-- I was just horsing around within the context of our discussion and (mistakenly) thought you knew it was me. Oops!
Paul Robinson - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Rod, no problem. So the "2:50" comment was yours? OH OH...sounds like the "9:41" came rumbling through on the same track, too - didn't it? Oh, well - as I pointed out a little while ago on someone else's parody, I'm VERY gullible and believing when I don't think it can cost me anything. Why not?
Rod - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul, re the 2:50, yes. If you recall, you and I had 3 threads going, this one and two of yours (Every Day & Jimmy Beam). The car wash inquiry above was spawned by a story you had just told about your car wash days and the crazy characters you met (in answer to my NGDB query). This was my way of tipping you off, because why would JG be asking about a car wash --here, no less-- shortly after your (great, btw) story at the other site?! As I was typing the 2:50, I was lol, and couldn't wait for your reply! Hey, bro, you're a great sport, and btw, I'm every bit as gullible. If someone would have commented on one of mine as David Grisman (or any of the other artists I mentioned above), I am sure I would have bitten, and probably responded with equally fawning (and most probably, worse) drivel! Hope you view this as a great laugh we've shared, could just as easily have been at my expense!
Rod - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey Paul, if you've stopped back, be sure not to leave without checking out the ads on this page (upper right)!
Elvie - July 27, 2010 - Report this comment
This is right on! Holy crap! Sense o humor you have is hilarious! Good stuff!

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