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Song Parodies -> "Asterisk"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

I employ that little starlike disk
When I write a word too rude to risk
Oh I rely on asterisk

For a laugh I can write rooster-pee
Or I could write c*ck-a-piddle-wee
Those asterisks hide vowels for me

i in sh*t must go
When describing toilet bisque
I wrote something crude
So I'll use
An asterisk

Waters-down words stored on my hard disk
Like an electronic drop of pissk
Oh my,
An asterisk!

u in c*nt must go
In talk of Madonna's lap
A-way, vowels I whisk,
Turns lewd to crap

Language simply too f*cked-up to risk
Never makes it past the censor's frisk
Please kissk
My a**terisk

...hum tongue hum, hum hum, c*m c*m...

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adagio - June 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Clever! I liked the 'Like an electronic drop of pissk' and all the last 5's
Michael Pacholek - June 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you for not mentioning Roger Maris, though you may want to mention Derek Fisher.
Johnny D - June 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Adagio and MP.
Ashkicks*ss - June 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Have you ever written anything that wasn't f*cking fabulous? 555
Arwen - June 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice work, Johnny...hilarious! 555...
alvin rhodes - June 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Know 1 can hear you dream - June 06, 2004 - Report this comment
There really should be a compilation album made with all these parodies about grammar. I think music teachers and grammar dittos would unite to buy it for their schools.
Stray Pooch - June 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Fantastic as usual, Johnny. I especially like "kiss my a**terisk! SO clever! This reminds me of the cute little poem "Little Mary donned her skates/upon the ice to frisk./Wasn't she a silly girl/her little *? :D (btw, if you are not sick of doing so, can you explain once again how to format these comments so the poems have new line characters in the right place?) Congrats on another piece of inspired obscenity!
Phil Alexander - June 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Nearly got a 4 for humour, till the penultimate line - a worthy kick up the a**terisk for the whole song. Nice one, JD :-)
Johnny D - June 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, Ashkicks*ss, Arwen, alvin, K1chyd, Stray Pooch, and Philbo!
Kr*st*f R*b*rts*n - June 07, 2004 - Report this comment
It does strike me as kinda surreal that we think by adding a little star thingy that we're raising the moral if!!! Oh by the way, you can f**king have three f**king fives, for F**ks sake!
Johnny D - June 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Kr*st*f R*b*rts*n, you're a star!
Rod Worden - June 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Brilliant, Johnny!
Johnny D - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, Rod!
Dominic L. - April 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Clever original idea
Johnny D - April 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you, Dominic.
Red Ant - September 26, 2006 - Report this comment
I had a feeling this idea would already be taken, though I might still do one to this song. Great job and ending, Johnny D. ***!

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