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Song Parodies -> "No Vegan Would"

Original Song Title:

"Norwegian Wood"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"No Vegan Would"

Parody Written by:

Jim Loftus

The Lyrics

A carnivorous guy invites a vegetarian lady over for dinner; talk about a date over before it begins!....
I once had girl over my place, offered her steaks
She told me "No thanks, although I could—no Vegan would"

I asked her to stay and I told her to sit anywhere
She said "no way" 'cause of animal hair on each chair

She sat on the floor, getting real loose on carrot juice
She stared at my wall, and the moose head, then went to bed

She told me she worked in the morning at Veggies Galore
I told her I bartended weekends at Wild Beef and Boar

And when I awoke I found a note, here's what she wrote:
"I can't eat your meat, although I could, No Vegan would"
c2004 LoftusongsJimLoftusTheFameGame

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 2.0
Overall Rating: 2.5

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - January 28, 2004 - Report this comment
A T-bone double entendre with A1 steak sauce!
Tim Hall - January 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Can't wait to have that grilled seitan!
sloatead - January 28, 2004 - Report this comment
first the lollipop parody, now this, but this one's better
Adam Zen B. - January 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Good one Jim. Love the last line.
Rick D - January 28, 2004 - Report this comment
I love punchlines. There seem to be some good ones today. Lennon is smiling somewhere.
Leah Lockhart - January 28, 2004 - Report this comment
heh heh heh... vegetarians taste better.
Paul Robinson - January 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Jim L., Well, I've got no beef with this one and I certainly wasn't "boared" either. This was very well done, but cooked just right so that there was still a little pink left in the middle. I'd say the girl was just "Vegan" for it but I'm afraid some folks might just end up having a bone to pick with that type of remark these days. Here, let me bring you a side order of some marinated "fives" to spread across this porn-fed gender-loin piece of meat.
Mari D - January 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Guess they couldn't "meat" in the middle!
Stray Pooch - January 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Missed this one the other day. Well done, though parodies like this are really rare! I like the way the song subtly builds to its climax . . .
John Jenkins - January 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Stray Pooch says that this parody is rare, but I think it is both rare and well done!
Michael Pacholek - January 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Oops. I voted before reading Mari's comment and "getting" the "meat" double-entendre. That makes it a lot funnier.
Meriadoc - February 02, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm meating up with this one kind of late, but it hasn't spoiled yet...
Leo Jay - July 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh, that's very very funny! Really great.
Rachel - February 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Okay, the song was funny, I have to admit. But just so you know, because a lot of people get this mixed up, there IS a difference between vegans and vegetarians. I'm a vegetarian. You see, vegetarians just don't eat meat. Vegans don't eat anything from an animal. Don't know why you guys would care, but, oh well...

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