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Song Parodies -> "Cardboard Submarine"

Original Song Title:

"Yellow Submarine"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Cardboard Submarine"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

One of the most popular comic book ads of all time featured a picture of children playing with an exciting replica of a US Navy Polaris submarine, complete with periscope, torpedo tubes, and missile launchers. $6.95 was a lot of money for most kids in my neighborhood in the 1960's, so I never actually saw one. But, as my cynical 4th Grade buddy pointed out, "high test fiberboard" really meant "cardboard box". A lot of adults with money to spend are looking for favorite toys they had or wish they had when they were young. But the Honor House submarine continues to elude even the most determined searcher. Seems like the kids who got one tried to submerge it in the family swimming pool. As far as I can tell, only one 1971 dated photo still exists. Looks like it was a cool toy.
Long ago, not yet a teen
Advertisement, magazine
Color sketch, a toy real keen
A fiberboard submarine

So I asked my Mom and Dad
Seven dollars, neither had
My ambition stayed a dream
Never sailed my submarine

Childhood dream was to own a submarine
Private submarine, my own submarine
Wishes stirred by a comic book I'd seen
Want a submarine, want a submarine

Wealthy kids got quite a shock
Their fancy toy--a cardboard box!
And then they began to play

"Has the mailman come yet? Where is he?"
"You'll just have to wait"
"Here it is. Open it up"
"Look, Mom, look"
"Aw, shucks, aw shucks".

So they took it to the pool (to the pool)
Every one of them (every one of them) and tossed it in (They tossed it in)
Soggy mess (soggy mess) soon clogged the screen (clogged the screen)
Say good-bye to (say good-bye to) submarine (Submarine)

Kids all played with their cardboard submarine
Sure did treat them mean, sure did treat them mean
Honor House sold a phony submarine,
Played with children's dreams, played with children's dreams
Grown up now, looking for that submarine
No more to be seen, none left to be seen
They're all gone, every cardboard submarine
Cardboard submarine, cardboard submarine

This website features the original Honor House, Lynbrook, New York ad and the only known photo of the actual submarine: http://www.retroland.com/polaris-nuclear-submarine/

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   1
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 4   1
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 5   7
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rob Arndt - September 28, 2017 - Report this comment
This thing?
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1385/544994244_9734939163.jpg?v=0
Patrick - September 29, 2017 - Report this comment
This is the only known photo of the actual toy submarine that anyone can find on the internet. The number on the sail matches the number in the ad. Looks like quite a toy for $7.00, even in 1967. Apparently a lot of nostalgia buffs are looking for one, but so far none has turned up. You can read my amazon review of Kirk Demarais' book at https://www.amazon.com/MAIL-ORDER-MYSTERIES-KIRK-DEMARAIS/product-reviews/160887026X/ref=cm_cr_getr_d_paging_btm_4?pageNumber=4
Even Better - September 30, 2017 - Report this comment
https://bmj2k.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/ufo-ad-5.jpg
The Pic - September 30, 2017 - Report this comment
https://terrordaves.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/jpb20ewb20in20rocket20ship.jpg
Patrick - September 30, 2017 - Report this comment
Kirk Demarais managed to find an example of the rocket ship for his book, but not the sub. I guess the kids who bought the rocket never tried to sail it in the cement pond.

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