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Song Parodies -> "Don't Want to Hold Your Hand"

Original Song Title:

"I Wanna Hold Your Hand"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Want to Hold Your Hand"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Germaphobes...
Don't wanna touch anything
With germs, you understand
You'll see what I mean, 'cause I
Don't want to hold your hand
Don't want to hold your hand
I'm living in Trump land!

Always sanitary
Wear gloves when I can
Yes, I've got to be clean
Scrubbing, washing demands
24/7
Don't want to hold your hand

When you touch me, I feel dirty
Inside/outside
Need antibacterial soap
Wash it right
Keep it tight
All clean and white

Don't wanna touch anything
With germs, you understand
You'll see what I mean, 'cause I
Don't want to hold your hand
Don't want to hold your hand
I'm living in Trump land!

Cleanliness makes me happy
Can't deny
Uncontaminated 'cause I scrub
Satisfied
Dirt denied
Germs aside
From filth I hide

Don't wanna touch anything
With germs, you understand
You'll see what I mean, 'cause I
Don't want to hold your hand
Don't want to hold your hand
I'm living in Trump land!

[Trump]
"Shaking hands is barbaric!"


Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   1
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

JarJar Andersson - July 26, 2017 - Report this comment
Mesa not understand what Trump had to do with the subject, Mesa would have gone with something like "can't even touch my gland" for a punchline.
Rob Arndt - July 26, 2017 - Report this comment
Then why don't you write that parody yourself instead of using a pseudonym and writing comments that are worthless and ineffectual?
Jonathan - July 26, 2017 - Report this comment
Rob, I don't know if you've seen "Impractical Jokers," but this reminded me of Sal from that show! 455
Claude Prez - July 26, 2017 - Report this comment
Yeah, I thought about writing a Trump-themed parody to this song but I didn't think "Ivanka Blows Her Daaaad" would make it through. Not bad Rob; have some threes
JarJar Andersson - July 27, 2017 - Report this comment
Trying to be nice by acknowledging your SW-fandomness before the actual question (I really don't understand what Trump had to do with the theme, but no problem with it if there's a logical explanation) and I'm getting back "worthless and ineffectual"? You're not making it easy to have a comments exchange/feedback with you Rob!
Jonathan - July 27, 2017 - Report this comment
^ I believe that President Trump is a germaphobe, and even said that quote about shaking hands, seen at the end of the parody.
Rob Arndt - July 27, 2017 - Report this comment
Exactly, Jon!
Alpha Skua - September 15, 2018 - Report this comment
The favorite song of a octopus WANT TO HONG YOUR HAND HAND HAND HAND HAND HAND HAND HAND

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