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Song Parodies -> "Twist Knife's Foul"

Original Song Title:

"Twist and Shout"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Twist Knife's Foul"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The Jagdkommando twist knife (aka tri-edged) originated with Austrian GEK Cobra and was later used by German GSG-9. It is a tri-edged knife with grooved faces and drilled holes, 7" blade length, 13" overall, made of 440A steel and aircraft aluminium waffle pattern handle. It weighs 24 oz. A wicked knife, it has been copied by several companies for the civilian market at $900 per unit!!!
GEK takes it out, slowly, now (Takes it out, slowly)
Twist knife's foul (Twist knife's foul)
Non-gun, non-gun, non-gun, non-gun- sure does wow! (Sure does wow!)
Tri-edged dagger carries clout (It carries clout)

6061 shealth out, handle's stout (Handle's stout)
GEK knows it works so good (Works so good)
Quick to take an enemy down (Enemy down)
With the nastiest wounds (Gores as it chews)

GEK takes it out, slowly, now (Takes it out, slowly)
Twist knife's foul (Twist knife's foul)
Non-gun, non-gun, non-gun, non-gun- sure does wow! (Sure does wow!)
Tri-edged dagger carries clout (It carries clout)

Known as a “Jagdkommand” (Jagdkommando)
Used by GEK, GSG-9 (GSG-9)
Stab twist wounds so much grosser, foul (Twist wounds so much grosser)
Tri-edged dagger is unkind (Ja, this dagger is unkind)

GEK takes it out, slowly, now (Takes it out, slowly)
Twist knife's foul (Twist knife's foul)
Non-gun, non-gun, non-gun, non-gun- sure does wow! (Sure does wow!)
Tri-edged dagger carries clout (It carries clout)

Known as a “Jagdkommand” (Jagdkommando)
Used by GEK, GSG-9 (GSG-9)
Stab twist wounds so much grosser, foul (Twist wounds so much grosser)
Tri-edged dagger is unkind (Ja, this dagger is unkind)

GEK takes it, takes it, takes it, slowly, now (Takes it out slowly)
GEK takes it, takes it, takes it, slowly, now (Takes it out slowly)
GEK takes it, takes it, takes it, slowly, now (Takes it out slowly)

Killer 7”, 24oz... foul

[No time to scream when the tri-edge's in, then out]

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Patrick - December 01, 2014 - Report this comment
I've mentioned knives in songs before, but never wrote one specifically about a particular brand or style. Maybe I'll take a stab at it some day. Found a picture of the Jagdkommando online. That is one wicked looking knife! Beats a Sicilian stiletto all to hell.
Jonathan - December 01, 2014 - Report this comment
ah this is the knife! 5's
Rob Arndt - December 01, 2014 - Report this comment
Thanks Patrick and Jon. Only thing worse is a Quad-edged Cross dagger!!!

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