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Song Parodies -> "I am the Woodsman"

Original Song Title:

"I am the Walrus"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"I am the Woodsman"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Dedicated to the memory of CIA operative HA Kelley Jr whom I knew and admired. An amazing man with an extraordinary life, he was a reserved man that died alone at age 44. They called him the "Woodsman" because he cut down everything in his path in the jungles of Vietnam.
I am he on killing spree amonst the trees
Operating in all weather
See the VC run like scum from my guns, see how they die
I'm smiling

Stalking them with a black stake, waiting for the night to come
Intervention outsourced, bloody, murky foulplay
I am getting so annoyed. Bambi and Thumper save the day
I am the bad man, they are the deadmen
I am the Woodsman, cut you down too

Mister Death with no pity, slitting little zip throats dontcha know?
See how they die, gruesome homicides, how their blood runs
I'm smiling, I'm smiling
I'm smiling, I'm smiling

Agent Orange defo cargo falling from the sky
KA-BAR works nice, pornographic violence
Torturing the lost souls, those pajama-wearin' clowns
I am the bad man, they are the deadmen
I am the Woodsman, cut you down too

Sniping in an evil garden shooting brass for fun, the NKA ones
Man after man in the pouring rain
I am the bad man, they are the deadmen
I am the Woodsman, cut you down too

Expert killer, smoking jokers
Love the way the knife blade moves (Ha, ha, ha! He, he, he! Ha, ha,ha!)
See how they cry, cutting grooves in their thighs, as their veins run dry
I'm smiling

Clandestine mover with no Air Power
SMG or bolt-action, doesn't matter
Act out wicked schemes where no one else will go
I am the bad man, they are the deadmen
I am the Woodsman, cut you down too, the shadow rules

Cut you down too, the shadow rules
Cut you down too, the shadow rules

Shadow
Shadow, shadow
Shadow, shadow
Shadow, shadow

Known as "Spooks" and "Ghouls"

Note: Bambi and Thumper were his favorite weapons. Bambi was a custom silenced pistol made by Rammock in .45 and Thumper was a custom grenade launcher.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   12
 12
 12
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Barry - September 18, 2014 - Report this comment
One of your best, IMO. Also, gives me an idea.
Rob Arndt - September 18, 2014 - Report this comment
Thanks JAB, but you are still the MASTER!!! I am burned out...
Patrick - September 18, 2014 - Report this comment
There goes a man with no PTSD.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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