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Song Parodies -> "I'll Follow Islam"

Original Song Title:

"I'll Follow The Sun"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"I'll Follow Islam"

Parody Written by:

Callmelennie

The Lyrics

This is a little known fact, Rob, but back in the Sixties, when the Beatles were expanding their minds with Ravi Shankar, they accidentally took some bad acid which had been slipped to them by an undercover Sufi mystic ... and accidentally converted to Islam!! Nobody was the wiser until Paul and John penned the following lyrics, which served as a huge red flag .... Expla. note -- Kaffir is the Arabic word for infidel
One day, you'll look .. Jihad has won
For the mullahs now reign, so
I'll follow Islam
Some day, you'll know .. Allah's the One
So from pork I'll abstain, as
I follow Islam

And now the time has come, and so Islam
Has prevailed
And if I lash a friend, in the end
She will veil

Oh, one day, you'll find .. The West is gone
Now it feels like Bahrain, as
I follow Islam

Yes, the mullahs do reign, so
Let's follow Islam

And now the time is near, and so Kaffir
You must go
And if you lose a hand, in this land
You will know

That, one day, you'll find ... Prostration's fun
Now they call me Hussein, cause
I follow Islam

And the Caliph now reigns, so
Let's follow Islam

(Moving in the other direction, we had Cat Stevens, recently de-converted from Islam, shocking the audience at the 2014 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony with this screed against Islam, which bore a striking resemblance to the Beastie Boys song, "You Got to Fight For The Right to Party.")

WALLAHI!

You wake up to adhan; Man, you don't want to pray
You ask your Mom, Please, but she says "Prostrate!"
You've missed two Salahs and you're in the hole
Now your mullah says jihad's the way to save your soul

You better fight .. 'gainst the blight .. of Shari'ah*

They caught you breaking Saum*, and Pop says, "No Way"
That hypocrite eats two snacks a day
Man, living in Ummah is such a bore
Now the girls are all covered by a black chador (Hidden!)

You gotta fight .. 'gainst the blight .. of Shari'ah
You gotta fight

Don't even go on Hajj if that's the way you will appea-yah
They'll kick you out of Mecca if you don't GROW .. A .. BEARD!
Imam busted you and said "WHAT'S .. THAT .. DIN!
Imam, don't arrest me it's a CHRIS .. TIAN .. HYMN!

You gotta fight .. 'gainst the blight .. of Shari'ah
You better fight .. 'gainst the blight .. of Shari'ah



*If pronounced the way Muslims pronounce it, (SHAHR-yah) the word Shari'ah does rhyme with party .... *Salah and Saum -- prayers and Ramadhan fast

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Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 14

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User Comments

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Susanna Viljanen - May 15, 2014 - Report this comment
Bismillah! Naujubillah! Wastagferullah! 555!
PC Gal - May 15, 2014 - Report this comment
Muslim bashing as art, free speech? No, just the written ramblings of a hate monger. Crawl back under your Rightwing rock and throw a Tea Party.
Patrick - May 15, 2014 - Report this comment
The thing that worries me about Islam is what I perceive as a complete lack of a sense of humor. A lot of the great comedians are and have been Jews and Catholics. One can only imagine what would happen to a Muslim who found something amusing about his faith or the way some people practice it.
Callmelennie - May 16, 2014 - Report this comment
Unless further clarification is forthcoming, I will assume, for the sake of non-argument, that PC Gal is being facetious -- in a reverse-Colbert kind of way
Moe - May 16, 2014 - Report this comment
Islam slamming is still alive post 9-11. That's a disgrace, but Len boy likes it
Callmelennie - May 16, 2014 - Report this comment
So let me get this straight, Mo. Saying anything negative about Islam AFTER 9-11, when Muslims killed 3000 Americans, as hundreds of thousands of Muslims in the Middle East celebrated is a .... "disgrace" .... but the actual killing of 3000 non-combatants, without warning, in violation of every rule of civilization ever held by any civilization and every code of honor by any barbarian tribe .. that's OK
Anti-warrior - May 16, 2014 - Report this comment
Hey Lennie, American drones have killed more innocents in Pakistan than 9-11. And Israel has murdered tens of thousands in the occupied territories and Lebanon. Blow it out your sphincter, douche boy
Callmelennie - May 16, 2014 - Report this comment
As long as we're having a full accounting of the violence in that part of the world -- Since 2001, there have been almost 20,000 Islamic terrorist incidents which have killed over 100,000 people, mostly Muslims; The ongoing civil war in Syria has killed over 100,000 people; The recent one in Libya killed 30,000; Two separate atrocities by Sadaam Hussein against the Shi'ites and Kurds killed 250,000 people; The Islamic government in Sudan killed 2 million Christians in South Sudan between 1980 and 2000; Then it turned around and killed 350,000 Muslims in the Western province of Darfur; Over 500,000 Muslims have died in anarchy in Somalia, a figure that would have been much greater had it not been for US intervention; Over 150,000 people died in the Lebanese Civil War of the Late Seventies and Eighties; Going back to the early Seventies, Pakistan killed a million Bangladesh civilians during the breakup of East and West Pakistan; And just a few years prior, the Muslim dominated government of Nigeria caused 1,000,000 Christian Biafrans to die of starvation .... That's five and a half Muslims and Christians killed by other Muslims, and most of them were helpless civilians; I haven't even mentioned the millions of Muslim soldiers who have died in conventional wars with other Muslims .... Which is why any sane person would have to conclude that the most horrific thing that has happened to the Muslim world in recent years are the three song parodies I've done about Muslims in the past year

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