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Song Parodies -> "Bad Plane"

Original Song Title:

"Birthday"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Bad Plane"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

I've already covered the He-162 before, but recap: It was designed in under 30days and flew within 37 days as an emergency "People's Fighter." Made of largely non-strategic wood with a single BMW 003 jet engine of 1760 lb st and featured an ejection seat. Carried 2x 20mm MG-151/20s, but sometimes 2x 30mm MK-108s in ventral position with 100-120 rds per gun. Was fast at 560 mph and had a ceiling of almost 40,000 ft with 4200 fpm climb and range of 434 miles. Was intended as second fighter after Me-262, but more like a point defense interceptor. Against impossible odds, 300 of these a/c were built with 900 more on the lines from Oct '44-April '45. JG 1 at Leck became operational in April 1945 for three weeks with 50+ a/c, but only 23 serviceable and almost no gas to fly! The He-162 killed 4 Allied aircraft in combat nonetheless with no losses. Early He-162s that tested were lost to accidents and problems with bonding (glue). Some reviews mark this as a bad aircraft and yet others consider it a success that was overcome by events. The fact that it got built and became operational under total bombardment and in so short a time is remarkable. In numbers, with improvements, it could have been very formidable... at least until the Fw Ta 183 and Go-229 arrived ;-)
They said it was a bad plane
Volksjaeger was screwed, sad
They said it was a bad plane
And yet it turned out just fine
It wasn’t a bad plane
But there were just too few…

JG 1
JG 1
JG 1
Fought on
Fought on

Yes, it was made in a hurry, hurry
Yes, the Heinkel team scurried, scurried
Four Allied planes felt its fury, fury

Made of wood real fast (Bad plane)
Interceptor by chance (Bad plane)
To Hitler Youth* was tasked (Bad plane)
Most sat, sad

JG 1
Scored some

It wasn’t meant to last (Bad plane)
Vibration due to blasts** (Bad plane)
It wasn’t up to task (Bad plane)
But fast! Was fast!

They said it was a bad plane
Volksjaeger was screwed, sad
They said it was a bad plane
And yet it turned out just fine
It wasn’t a bad plane
But there were just too few…
* In reality a myth. HJ trained for a wide number of a/c schemes such as the He-162, Bv-40, and Reichenberg R.IV suicide jet... but the latter 2 were cancelled and the He-162 was flown by LW pilots with experience.
** Early models experienced vibration when the 30mm guns were fired, so 20mm guns were substituted and there was structural refinement in that area

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 9

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Callmlennie - April 04, 2014 - Report this comment
Using a Beatle song to pay homage to a slap dash, experimental Third Reich interceptor that nobody else on the planet under the age of sixty has ever heard of --- why, this could only have issued forth from the funhouse mind of Rob Arendt!! ;-D ..... One concern however; I've heard disturbing reports that John Lennon only rotated about 90 degrees in his grave when this was posted. To achieve that coveted full 360 spin, I think you need to use his song "Imagine" in your corpus of work, viz. -- Imagine all the Henkels; disturbing the global peace ....
Rob Arndt - April 04, 2014 - Report this comment
Thanks CML. Good idea with the Heinkels- could do a parody on the prototype He-277 and 274 strategic bombers that were never used. German bombers in 1945 were meaningless in the face of enemy 1000-bomber raids by the USAAF. Yet, the Ju-287 FSW jet bomber was approved, Heinkel's He-343 in component form ordered stored! A 4-engine Ar-234C jet bomber was also made, but the little Arados barely bombed anything- were used for fast recon instead due to speed of 461 mph. Btw, a few He-162S Doppelsitzer a/c were built supposedly for HJ suicide attacks as glider fighters, but not approved. My page on German suicidal aircraft: http://discaircraft.greyfalcon.us/German%20Suicidal%20Aircraft.htm
Patrick - April 06, 2014 - Report this comment
I have seen photos of pre-War Hitler Youth building model airplanes of wood. Sounds like the Luftwaffe could have used some of their skills with glue to keep the He.162 together. "Imagine Adolf Hitler, Ruler of the Earth. You can say there are no demons, but he certainly was one. And Rob will write about him, and his Walther pocket gun".
Rob Arndt - April 08, 2014 - Report this comment
I did the Beatles "Imagine" yesterday, but it failed to show up this morning. Re-submitted for tomorrow!
Callmelennie - April 08, 2014 - Report this comment
A likely story ;-D
Rob Arndt - April 09, 2014 - Report this comment
CML, my parody did a Flight 370 on me!!! But it's here this morning :)

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