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Song Parodies -> "Boeing Will"

Original Song Title:

"I Will"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Boeing Will"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

As the military experiences deep budget cuts some combat jets are out (like the USAF Fairchild A-10) and some are still in with new orders for more. The Boeing EA-18G Growler is needed and has a new role as escort in addition to its EW work as prime jammer for the USN. The plane is a spin-off of a Super Hornet with EW capabilities. First operational in 2009 it experienced some technical bugs, but they have been worked out with new systems added. See notes below...
Combat jets under review
The A-10 was cancelled
Gap in inventory a crime
But order for new, to fill

Super Hornet [1] spin-off cue
The Growler [2] is its name
AEA [3] replaced the Prowler [4]
Improved, was Navy gain

9 hard points and 3 ventral together
Jam pods [5], AMRAAMs [6], and HARMs [7]
From carriers or land in all weather
INCAS [8] inclusion a charm

It can provide escort too
Dual roles in the air
Flying slightly under Mach 2
1300 miles without refuel
Everyone loves the EA-18G
New order to fill
Boeing will

NGJ [9] from Lightning II [10]
2020 start….
[1] Boeing F/A-18F
[2] Growler derived from (EA-18) G-(p)rowler
[3] AEA= Airborne Electronic Attack
[4] Grumman EA-6B Prowler former Navy AEA aircraft
[5] Jam pods= 5x ALQ-99
[6] AMRAAM= 2X AIM-120 Advanced Medium Range Air-to-Air Missile for defense
[7] 2x AGM-88 High-speed Anti-Radiation Missile
[8] INCAS= Interference Cancellation System (allows Growler to communicate while simultaneously performing jamming duties)
[9] NGJ= Next Generation Jamming
[10] Lightning II= Lockheed-Martin F-35

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Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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ECM Hall of Famer - March 19, 2014 - Report this comment
O.K., but too specialized for the general viewer, as proved by extensive footnotes.
Old Guy with Models - March 19, 2014 - Report this comment
Speak for yourself ECM Hall of Shamer. Bet you don't know a thing about EW as in ECM, ECCM, ELINT, etc... Great work, Robby! Can you do the EF-111 Raven next??? This was also known as the old "Spark Vark" and "Electric Fox" which was quite a sight back in the late 1970s. Back then at least a good deal of the general public knew what many United States combat aircraft were and both boys and adult men lived to buy modeling kits from hobby stores and rack military books to make sure they got the color schemes and markings right. I used to carefully put tin foil in my A-10 engines using a popsicle stick and used fire cracker burns to simulate hits on the fuselage! Those were the days, I tell ya. When "Blue Thunder" and "Firefox" came out in the early '80s guys went crazy and of course the Tomcat movie was "Top Gun." People used to appreciate the military and flocked to military air shows. But those days are gone. Damn President George H.W. Bush for the base closures! I miss my old rockets too :(
Reader - March 19, 2014 - Report this comment
You're not fooling anybody, Old Guy aka Robby. Shove the popsicle stick and fire cracker, maniac!
Rob Arndt - March 20, 2014 - Report this comment
@Reader sockpuppet troll- please verify your facts before making accusations and name calling like a child. @OG, the EF-111A was a strange beast in the late 1970s but did its job well considering the fact that it was totally unarmed offensively and defensively. It performed jamming duties in ODS and even outflew a pursuing Iraqi Mirage F.1 that crashed! The Growler by comparison has numerous electronic upgrades and carries weaponry against both targets and for self-defense. It can be carrier-launched or flown from land which is a bonus. The USAF was going to get a new EW aircraft with the F-35 but the NGJ package is being given to the Growler instead b/c the F-35 is still bug-ridden, esp. with the electrical system. For a long time the USAF considered using the F-15E Beagle (Bombing Eagle) as a platform for an EW version (nickname Bleagle- BLinding EAGLE) but it has come to nothing. I may do a parody of the EF-111 someday... :)
Patrick - March 20, 2014 - Report this comment
When I built model planes I preferred the WWII models. I saw the other day that the Blue Angels were flying again. Maybe there will be another air show in Kansas City some day.
Rob Arndt - March 20, 2014 - Report this comment
Patrick, I built some models in my time but was never that good at it like my friends who made detailed planes, tanks, and ships.... even huge dioramas!!! I prefer diecast and wooden models for display instead. And yeah, I heard about the Blue Angels that were grounded due to budget cuts returning. Most people (aviation included) do not know that "Blue Angel" is slang for "Fallen Angel or Demon."

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