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Song Parodies -> "Happiness is a German Firearm"

Original Song Title:

"Hapiness is a Warm Gun"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Happiness is a German Firearm"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

German firearms are traditionally the finest quality in the world and have set many records from the Dreyse Needle Gun to the first auto-pistols (Borchardt, others), first true SMG (MP-18), first anti-tank rifle, first assault rifle (STG-43/44), first double-action auto pistol (P-38), to todays modern HKs and Walthers that can blow through 50,000 rounds with no stoppages and no barrel warping. They exceeed all police and military standards. Before the AK-47 (which was copied from the German WW2 intermediate cartridge and basic assault rifle architecture), the Mauser K98 was produced in such large numbers that they still can be found all over the world and as hunting rifle actions. The 9mm Parabellum round is also worldwide. German Army and civilian weapons are the best in the world barring shotguns (the Italians rule there) with best pistols HK and Walther autos plus Korth wheel guns, rifles HK G-36, 416, 417 (and canceled G-11 caseless), snipers Mauser/Erma/DSR, SMGs HK MP-5 and 7, machine guns Rheinmetall MG-3 and HK MG-4, plus HK AGLs. My Walther P-99QA .40 cal is superior to any police or military pistol in the world (with HK a worthy rival). Germans also have the HK P-11 underwater pistol and the under development Rheinmetall AG plasma rifle. German IDZ Supersoldiers will receive a new ACR by 2016. The best HRUs and military forces in the world use German if they can afford it. The AK series of rifles are the most produced in the world but historically are derived from the WW2 STG-43/44 and many Western rifles are derived from the STG-45. The AK is being replaced by the Nikonov An-94 which is also awesome but in limited production.
Precision waffe, German touch
50,000 rounds can be blown through, yeah

German firearms made are the pride of the Fatherland
Known, historical worldwide fame
In battle, often proved to be superior
Carried by the best troops
Mauser, Erma, Walther designed to be deadly
Top of the line
Production continued despite Germany's fate
Buying a firearm? German is a must!

From 9 (mm) to .338 cal
From pistols to rifles, best found
Better than anything else around

Happiness is a German firearm
Happiness is a German firearm
Happiness is a German firearm
Happiness is a German firearm
Happiness is a German firearm
Happiness is a German firearm

Happiness is a German firearm (Happiness: bang, bang, shoot, shoot)
Happiness is a German firearm, Ja, Ja! (Happiness: bang, bang, shoot, shoot)
Protects me from any harm (Oo-oo oh Ja)
As I feel my finger on your trigger (Oo-oo oh Ja)
Nothing like a precision firearm (Oo-oo oh Ja)
Because happiness is a German firearm, Ja, Ja! (Happiness: bang, bang, shoot, shoot)
Happiness is a German firearm, yes it is (Happiness: bang, bang, shoot, shoot)
Happiness is a German, yes it is, firearm (Happiness: bang, bang, shoot, shoot)
Well, don't you know happiness is a German firearm, by far? (Happiness is a German firearm, Ja)

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

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 5   11

User Comments

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Patrick - July 16, 2012 - Report this comment
Just wish I could afford a G-3 or an MP-5. Had an East German Makarov once. Quality far exceeded the Russian or Chinese variants. For rifles, I much prefer the British Lee Enfield, but I would never turn down a good 98k or similar. A friend once had an old Reichsrevolver. He shot it with some left over ammo I made for a French 1874. On the civilian level, the RG-14 was a far superior piece to the US Clerke First.
Rob Arndt - July 16, 2012 - Report this comment
Here in Cali you can't get the G-41 or MP-5 except for MP-5 .22LR clones. You can buy HK and Walther for pistols as well as the Walther G-22 utility rifle or the vintage K98 when on sale at Big 5. If I could get anything German I would want the Sauer Amboss prototype from 1945 that fired compression rounds. I have never seen that nor the German rocket guns (although pics of the rocket bullets are now available). Germans also tested Flak Gas guns that were part of Austria's research since '36. No caliber is ever given so I do not know if these were handguns or flak guns!!! Germans are very secretive about new arms; so much so, that the Rheinmetall WM Plasma Taser from 2003 has never been shown even though it was to be issued to the Westphalia Police!
Rob Arndt - July 16, 2012 - Report this comment
PLEASE NOTE: Although I am praising German weapons in this parody, I have owned, borrowed, or shot 100s of weapons in my lifetime from around the world and LOVE foreign arms of all types. But if my life depended on a pistol, it would have to be German and IS! For shotguns, Italy dominates with Beretta, Benelli, and Franchi. SMGs are back to German and assault rifles would be Soviet (German HK G-36, G-11, and 416/417 are excellent, but too complicated by comparison). MGs are German again and snipers can be anything from around the world, although I once had a $9k Erma SR-100 in .338LM (1600m range) with a S&B Electroscope. I even played with an anti-sniper computerized echo-location system! And some experimentals in Az with the US Army's test centers. Other weapons I've handle but not fired include prototypes and of course there are a range of improvised weapons (had the entire Paladin Press Library as a teen)! So don't take things too seriously with the German stuff. I specialize in that material, am biased to an extent, but really love ALL weapons of destruction as well as Cold Steel ;-D

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