I browsed through the bodega
On the boulevard
Browsed through the bodega
Took out my charge card
Saw a pretty purse locked
Up in a glass case
I asked for it
Followed by a young shopper armed with Mace

I propose a deal with the
Shopper armed with Mace
Not realizing that it
Would be an arms race
While I stare at the purse
I contemplate a prank
Then I take a
Whiff and tell her that her armpits smell dank

Don’t pass that buy
Up or you’ll die
Of dashed-up hopes
Because it’s the bargain of a lifetime
It’s genuinely designer
And deeply discounted
Don’t pass that buy
Up or you’ll die

Bodega Lady winked at me
Admired my skills
Applauded my guile
So out of goodwill
Gave me another discount
So I just paid in cash
I profusely thanked the angel on
My shoulder before she flashed

“Don’t pass that buy
Up or you’ll die
Of dashed-up hopes,”
I told myself to justify the buy
It was a real designer purse
I could not live without
Don’t pass that buy
Up or you’ll die

Don’t pass that buy
Up or you’ll die
Of dashed-up hopes
Thank God I followed my own sage advice
Despite that shopper with the Mace
I went straight for the bait
Will not die ‘cause
I scored that buy!