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Song Parodies -> "Belts"

Original Song Title:

"Help"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Belts"

Parody Written by:

Mark Scotti

The Lyrics

For these thinning times.....
Belts, around my body,
Belts, my waist embodies,
Belts, if your pants come undone, belts.

When I was lighter, my waist tighter so pants stayed,
I never had a problem with body gaining weight.
But now my abs are gone, my size is not obscure,
Now I try to eat whole pies, need tightness for my drawers.

Belts keep from my can, pants falling down
Sights you won't appreciate rear view abounds.
Belts need, extra holes I'm getting round,
If I sneeze, my belt frees.

And how my waist inflates used staples they don't stay,
Pants fabric's tension torn to shreds at my buffet.
By every hot dog stand sellouts they are assured,
Zoo had a mind to tag my hind thought hippos weren't secure.

Belts do all they can, butt's scraping ground,
But you must appreciate my love of round.
Belts keep, my rear view from being frowned,
Feel that breeze, geeze belt's free.

When I was thinner, so much lighter when I weighed,
I never heeded chubby body signs that I sustained.
But now my shape is gone, my meals became hardcore,
I've refined my big behind and widened up the doors.

Belts made of Kevlar, support my round,
Now I hear anaconda length coming out.
Belt me, keep my pants off of the ground,
A tight squeeze, sneezed belt's free, help me, belt me, down.

Copyright 2009

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 0
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 5   13
 13
 13
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

blackjack21 - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
I laughed so hard I popped my belt buckle! Triple decker fives for you, big guy. ;-)
Mark Scotti - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Jolly thanks to you, blackjack!!!
Timmy1000 - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Big laugh of the day and kevlar belt idea is hilarious.
Mark Scotti - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Stretching you thanks, Timmy! have a great weekend!!
Christie Marie M - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
You sure have this parody idea under your belt! LOl! 555!
Mark Scotti - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Squeezing you thanks, Christie!!!
metaphorsbwithu - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Time's a wastin'!

Beltin' out 555's for some great self-deprecating humor. :-D
Mark Scotti - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Not "wasting" my thanks to you, meta!!!!
Fiddlegirl - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
"Crack"ing up at your humor, as always! :D
DJ Blaze - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
I echo all comments above, as they beat me to the puns LOL! 555
Mark Scotti - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
"Well held" thanks to you, Fiddlegirl & DJ!!!
TT - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Very fine wordplay and matching! Zoo line was the best! Now, belly up to the bar and have Five belts on me!
Mark Scotti - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Belly shaken thanks to you, TT!!!
AFW - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Puts you a notch up on the parody scale..I enjoyed the hole thing
Old Man Ribber - September 05, 2009 - Report this comment
A parody with real substance! ;D
Mark Scotti - September 05, 2009 - Report this comment
Weighin in with thanks to you, AFW & OMR!!!
Michael Marino - September 06, 2009 - Report this comment
Great Song. Did it make it onto "The Beatles: Rock Band"?
Mark Scotti - September 07, 2009 - Report this comment
It will, eventually, onto the Wi Fit version! Thanks!
Blaydeman - March 07, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) Nice one Marky!!! "If I sneeze, my belt frees" Great line!!!
Mark Scotti - March 07, 2011 - Report this comment
A 'buffet" of thanks to you, Blaydeman!
agrimorfee - March 07, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) Put another notch in your parody belt, the word rhymes were loopy, and the pacing was tight.
Mark Scotti - March 08, 2011 - Report this comment
"support" of thanks, to you, Agri!
Abbott Skelding - March 08, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC): I love Beatles parodies, and this is no different! "Zoo had a mind to tag my hind thought hippos weren't secure." may be the most creative way to say that you're fat I've ever read in a parody! Nice work!
Mark Scotti - March 08, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, Abbott! I had a LOT of fun writing this one...
Below Average Dave - March 11, 2011 - Report this comment
One question for you, wouldn't gaining weight cause your pants to fit tighter, and thus not fall? Still like the idea and rhyme job even if the specifics may have thrown me off a bit
Mark Scotti - March 11, 2011 - Report this comment
Good point, Dave. But, as I've gone though it in the past, sometimes the pants are oversized(to cover the girth), and you still need the BELT to keep it in place. And the majority of the parody is the problem of 'popping" the belt. Thanks for the vote!
bobpiecheese - March 27, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) Some of the lines read a bit odd, but otherwise this was a very good parody, definitely not your average "ZOMG IM FAT LOLZ" parody. 555 tons on the scales, I'm sure.
Mark Scotti - March 28, 2011 - Report this comment
"Heavy" weight of thanks, bobpie!
Matthias - March 29, 2011 - Report this comment
One of my favorite Beatles songs although they do have a bunch under their belt. This was a good chubby parody and fat humor never gets old.
Mark Scotti - March 30, 2011 - Report this comment
"Squeezing' in some thanks to you, Matthias!

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