II once was a girl, wishing to own, a “Y” chromosome
I longed for the day, if only I could, somehow get wood

I bench-pressed 350, smoked Camels and played for the Browns
But unlike my teammates, I still had to pee sitting down

Like Shatner I longed, boldly to stick, alien chicks
Found a doc who agreed, now proudly I flog, my new Captain’s Log

I walked home with trouser-filled swagger, just like Al Pacino
Feeling as manly as Tyson or even Janet Reno

Now, testosterone makes me behave very depraved
Weird things that men do, I understood, once I got wood