‘Hampshire Primary

In the town where I reside
One event… fills us with glee
It’s the biggest thing we have
Our New Hampshire…Primary

Here we say…”Live Free or Die”
No sales tax…for stuff we buy
Flannel shirts…we think are keen
My tux came from…L.L. Bean

We all love our New Hampshire Primary
Such a sight to see, ‘Hampshire Primary
It’s the “first in the nation” Primary
Pure democracy, ‘Hampshire Primary

Candidates…all make the tour
Everyone of them…at my door
“I’m for change” …in sync they say…

(at this point a brass band attempts to play the New Hampshire state song, which no one knows, but that’s OK because by now the mouthpieces have frozen to their lips anyway)

We all love our New Hampshire Primary
To the polls we ski, ‘Hampshire Primary
Leads the rest...the New Hampshire Primary
Timing is the key, ‘Hampshire Primary

Here Barack…will get no flak
In our state he is…the only black
Hillary…in second place
Chelsea’s asked…”Why the long face ?”

Some think John McCain’s the man
Like the Beach Boys’ song…he’ll “Bomb Iran”
Huckabee will lose this race
Soon he’ll need a gig… playing bass

(CHORUS…Maple Syrup joke…etc.)

Dennis giving it his best
His head even with…his spouse’s chest
Edwards trying to attack
But his haircut costs…set him back

Mitt agreed to pay and pay
But he’ll soon reach his…atonement day
Ron Paul spent more than he owns
Now he’s hitch-hiking…to San Antone

(CHORUS…No, Daniel Webster did NOT write the dictionary joke…etc.)

Rudy’s fighting for his life
While he’s looking for…another wife
Here’s a funny fact for you
Stefanopoul…is… 5 foot 2

USA…a mighty voice
8 or 9 of us…still make your choice
State is small (looks nice in Fall)…our voters few (and inbred too)
But we’ll make the best…pick for you

We all love our New Hampshire Primary
Day’s here finally, ‘Hampshire Primary
We all live for our ‘Hampshire Primary
Always “New” to me, ‘Hampshire Primary

(repeat chorus until the polls close after which we won’t see any of these people for another four years…)

IB