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Song Parodies -> "'Hampshire Primary"

Original Song Title:

"Yellow Submarine"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"'Hampshire Primary"

Parody Written by:

Invisible Boy

The Lyrics

Well, our big day is finally here. On Wednesday morning there will be snowballs rolling like frozen tumbleweeds through the center of Manchester NH. Please forgive that I made the song longer. There were too many candidates and I couldn't seem to stop the riff...
‘Hampshire Primary

In the town where I reside
One event… fills us with glee
It’s the biggest thing we have
Our New Hampshire…Primary

Here we say…”Live Free or Die”
No sales tax…for stuff we buy
Flannel shirts…we think are keen
My tux came from…L.L. Bean

We all love our New Hampshire Primary
Such a sight to see, ‘Hampshire Primary
It’s the “first in the nation” Primary
Pure democracy, ‘Hampshire Primary

Candidates…all make the tour
Everyone of them…at my door
“I’m for change” …in sync they say…

(at this point a brass band attempts to play the New Hampshire state song, which no one knows, but that’s OK because by now the mouthpieces have frozen to their lips anyway)

We all love our New Hampshire Primary
To the polls we ski, ‘Hampshire Primary
Leads the rest...the New Hampshire Primary
Timing is the key, ‘Hampshire Primary

Here Barack…will get no flak
In our state he is…the only black
Hillary…in second place
Chelsea’s asked…”Why the long face ?”

Some think John McCain’s the man
Like the Beach Boys’ song…he’ll “Bomb Iran”
Huckabee will lose this race
Soon he’ll need a gig… playing bass

(CHORUS…Maple Syrup joke…etc.)

Dennis giving it his best
His head even with…his spouse’s chest
Edwards trying to attack
But his haircut costs…set him back

Mitt agreed to pay and pay
But he’ll soon reach his…atonement day
Ron Paul spent more than he owns
Now he’s hitch-hiking…to San Antone

(CHORUS…No, Daniel Webster did NOT write the dictionary joke…etc.)

Rudy’s fighting for his life
While he’s looking for…another wife
Here’s a funny fact for you
Stefanopoul…is… 5 foot 2

USA…a mighty voice
8 or 9 of us…still make your choice
State is small (looks nice in Fall)…our voters few (and inbred too)
But we’ll make the best…pick for you

We all love our New Hampshire Primary
Day’s here finally, ‘Hampshire Primary
We all live for our ‘Hampshire Primary
Always “New” to me, ‘Hampshire Primary

(repeat chorus until the polls close after which we won’t see any of these people for another four years…)

IB



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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alvin - January 08, 2008 - Report this comment
especially liked the LL bean tux, the brass band part and the "and inbred too"...lol
McKludge - January 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Who gave this a 423? This is funny, even though the only thing NH is good for is the tax-free liquor stores on the border to Maine :-)
Agrimorfee - January 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Kinda stretching it with George S., but 555 for covering all the bases. (and a plus point for the prescient view of HRC's "long face" during her brief emotional display yesterday)
littleCowCurl - January 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Flannel shirts & a tux from LLBean !!! Wow ! ~ Cowboys Rule ~
Laurence Dunne - January 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Wow, 4 years ago I did a parody of the New Hapmshire Primary using Yellow submarine!! It was called "John Kerry has no personality"
John Barry - January 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Love it. I'm from the Granite State originally, so this really resonates.
Meriadoc - January 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Laughed out loud at this one. Loved the parentheticals!
Below Average Dave (badave.com) - January 08, 2008 - Report this comment
"Huckabee will lose this race Soon he’ll need a gig… playing bass" I hope you're right on this one.
Jack Wilson - January 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Awesome job! 5s
Invisible Boy - January 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks all... alvin...LL Bean is having a special this week, ladies dresses...1/2 off. McK...all booze in NH is sold by the state, with many stores on the borders of ME, MA and VT. We love to have folks drive in, spend their money, and then go home. Agrimorfee...Hillary's crying bit seems to have helped. It's 9:54 PM and right now she's winning. LCC...I guess that's some people call us "Cow Hampshire" Laurence...I think every four years it's mandatory. John...That's probably why you have such a Keene mind. Meriadoc...(thank you) BAD...Hucks in 3d here. Get out the Fender Jazz. Jack...Thanks
AFW - January 08, 2008 - Report this comment
You've put the parody finger on the political pulse in a humorous manner..fine job
NHvoter - January 09, 2012 - Report this comment
I was just going to do this and I see you beat me to it 4 years ago

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