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Song Parodies -> "Wont Pay for Lunch"

Original Song Title:

"Can't Buy Me Love"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Wont Pay for Lunch"

Parody Written by:

Lionel Mertens

The Lyrics

I wished someone would have warned me about taking primates to eat in public places. Sure I can put up with thier screaching histrionics and constant fidgeting. I don't even mind when they grab food off my plate. I even permit them to take the bannana out of my ice cream sundae. But What really gets me--what really makes me go bonkers--is that when its thier turn to pay for lunch... They always split! Where's Mrs. Monkey Manners when I need her. Maybe Tarzan has wisked her into a back room? Who knows? Will somebody please tell me if I am right for being just a little upset. God! It seems like it'll take a million years before my monkey friend will evolve into a civilized bi-ped. Do you feel my concern? (no monkey feelings were hurt in writing this parody. It's just something I came up with while scratching my head. Okay, I'll shut up now. Please enjoy the parody.)
Won't pay for lunch, lunch
Won't buy me lunch

I dined with a primate guest for lunch
And he made me feel uptight
Well he made a freakin' mess that dunce
And he caused a near food fight
'Now I don't care too much for monkeys,
monkeys won't pay for lunch

I tell you I was hot to trot
When he went and dumped his soup
It may not cost a lot per pot
but when I got the bill I stewed
I don't care too much for monkeys
Monkey's wont pay for lunch

Wont pay for lunch, crazy Bonzo has no dough
Wont pay for lunch, oh! no no, no!

Now I won't feed no primate schemes
I'll save my apetite
Tell me that I'm getting kind of mean
That monkey just ain't right
I don't care too much for monkeys
Monkey's wont pay for lunch

Wont pay for lunch, even Tarzan told me so
Won't pay for lunch, oh! no no, no!

Say you don't heed what Darwin thinks
I raise my glass to you
Tell me that I need a stronger drink
Brass Monkey just wont do
I don't care too much for monkeys
Monkeys! lets not do lunch

Wont pay for lunch, lunch
(wont pay for) lunch

(C) copyright 2005 Is this SOTM material?

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Royce Miller - November 28, 2005 - Report this comment
I was in a bar called the Brass Monkey once, and I'm pretty sure I saw a monkey or two pay a tab.

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