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Song Parodies -> "Jenny Craig"

Original Song Title:

"Penny Lane"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Jenny Craig"

Parody Written by:

Dee Range

The Lyrics

Kirstie Allie was my fantasy babe growing up...untill she "grew up "heh heh heh
At Jenny Craig humongous Kirstie's showing photographs
Of the gut it's taken many years to grow
And that she likes to binge we all know
She won't say hell no

On the corner is a baker selling chocolate bars
Some say that Kirstie eats a dozen at a whack
And the baker swears it's just a snack
Then at night she dreams...Krispy Kremes

Jenny Craig will slim her rear, the need is dire
There, beneath her big Suburban tires
Are flat and driveway's cracked

At Jenny Craig the girls are shaped just like an hourglass
But if you looked at them "before" they were obscene
That they can make my pretty Kirstie lean
Has yet to be seen

Jenny Craig,,,weight dis-appears from flabby thighs
They're serving chalk and gristle pies
With hummis for a snack

Behind the storeroom is an exit where my Kirstie sneaks
A little kid is selling cookies from a tray
It seems he's also got some bags of Lays
He got rich today

(Months go by, she loses 20 pounds,,,then gains 30 back)

At Jenny Craig she misbehaves and others cuss at her
They seethe with rancor 'cause they're paying her to slim
And when she's fired...she can't get trim
Joins the other team...Krispy Kremes

(Kirstie, as Krispy Kreme's new pitchman, sings)

Krispy Kreme may pad your rear and fill your thighs
Still, there's nothing like a dozen iced
So eat and then go back
Krispy Kreme, my love is dear, my need is dire
Just replace those bald Suburban tires
Krispy Kreme

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   15

User Comments

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Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
This parody is phat!
(Hardly an original pun, but WTH...) :-)
AFW - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
I like her, too...and still, this is right up my Allie.....good heavy work, here
alvin rhodes - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
well paced and funny as hell...poor
Paul Robinson - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Gonna have to tack on 15 pounds here...5 of them 3 times ~ ~ ~
Michael Pacholek - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
The best part is, you can next do "Strawberry Shakes Forever"! And maybe "Kirstie 'Round the House, She's Sittin'." How about "I'm 264." (As in pounds.) And (I admit, I swiped this from a "What if the Beatles stayed together?" storyline) "With Thin You, With Stout You." But none of those could be as good as this. You may have climbed to the top of the food chain with this one.
Chuck A. Spear - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Cheers! 5's
Dee Range - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks to Peter, AFW, alvin, Paul, Michael, and Chuck. Much appreciated!
Larry Hensley - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
What a hugely funny parody! 5s
Johnny D - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Bravo, Dee!
John Jenkins - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Very good and creative, but you probably should have acknowledged that a "Jenny Craig" parody had previously been done to the same OS by Rick Duncan (not about Kirstie Allie).
Stuart McArthur - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Rebecca before the "big suburban tires" (LOL!) was so hot, Dee - it all went wrong for her after Sam Malone finally had his way - 555
Dee Range - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Johnny D, Larry, John Jenkins, and Stuart. Much appreciated

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