If I Fell

If I fell on top of you
Would you beat me with your shoe
Or help me with my pants
"Cause I've done this once before
Twenty years ago or more
I'm hip to romance

If I show my part to you
I must be sure
You won't bust a gut, no you
Won't laugh at me like her

If I thrust in you, oh please
Don't grin too wide
It's an inch or two, oh please
Be satisfied and purr

"Cause I couldn't wait again
Oh my, it's so sad when such a stud
Isn't lain

But I hope you see that I
Am old enough to
Have a stroke and die
I just turned ninety-two

And I might not stand the strain
Oh my, it's so sad when such a stud
Isn't lain

But I hope you see that I
Am old enough to
Have a stroke and die
I just turned ninety-two

Can I fall on top of you?