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Song Parodies -> "Out The Corporate Door"

Original Song Title:

"When I'm Sixty-Four"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Out The Corporate Door"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

NOTE: This is NOT about my current job, but rather my previous one, at a large Company that was owned by an even larger, in fact, humongous multi-national Conglomerate. I now work for a much smaller, more agile and responsive outfit and the difference is absolutely astounding. I make a bit less, but I find it far more rewarding and do not have to deal with all the BS that comes with working for a gigantic Corporate entity.
Worked there a long time
More than six years
Thought my job secure

'Cause I always managed to clock in on time
And on calls my answers were fine

“Costs must get cut”
New Corp'rate decree
Now I'm out the door

Seems they don't need me
Pink slip I received
Don't work there no more

Don't know what to do

I just received the word
“We do not need you”

Word from Headquarters
“Lower the costs”
Jettison dead weight

It is such a treat when you get fired by
Some impers'nal Corporate guy

Don't give a damn
‘bout customer needs
Just a Corp'rate Whore

Reason dismissed me
Was corporate greed
Now I'm out the door


Whatta bummer, I had thought that my wearing
a collar white would keep me employed

Job went overseas

Paychecks
I'll get no more

Now
I'm
on
my
knees

At ‘Unemployment'
Standing in line
Telling them my skills

They say that there are no positions left like that
Out of luck; been trimmed just like fat

Filing for Food Stamps
Use at the store

Weren't they for the poor?

Was this from ‘Free Trade'?
“Off”, I have been laid
Out the Corp'rate door

"SHOO!"

~ ~ ~

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   2
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 4   2
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 5   11
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User Comments

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Kristof Robertson - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Paul, you've always got buccaneering to fall back on...;-) 555
Charlie Decker - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Exactly what I was thinking, Kristof! I'm so glad I don't have to deal with the working life yet...
David Chrenko - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Seems it always happens a month short of retirement. Good job, Paul . You're fired!
alvin rhodes - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
clever and well-paced...loved the "shoo"....5s
Stuart McArthur - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
I bet you feel 2 stone lighter, Paul - funny one - 555
Johnny D - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
ARRRHHH, matey, Har-HAR !!! Ooops, sorry....thought this was another pirate parody. ;-)
Paul Robinson - March 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, all! JD - Corp'rate Raidin' , aye, that be Piratin' in me book, ARRRHHH!!! Hey, how about "A Har-Har Day's Night" ?? or something like that ~ ~ ~
Royce Miller - March 15, 2005 - Report this comment
good job on this parody, Paul
Paul Robinson - March 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Royce...
Paul Robinsonq - March 15, 2005 - Report this comment
David Chrenko - Jeez! I missed part of your comment when I saw it late last night. You really nailed the situation! That's EXACTLY what they told our Department. Called a meeting April 29th, 2003..."Well, you guys just had your best season yet! 96%!! Congratulations!!...Uhh...but were moving Central Support somewhere else...but you are welcome to APPLY there...". No offer of moving expenses, bonuses, perks or even an indication that they really WANTED you there..."You are welcome to apply"...and it was because they wanted to cut loose middle-aged, relatively high-salaried (for the field) folks and hire less-experience people at lower starting classifications (lower ceilings) in a State that conformed to FEDERAL Labor Laws...looser Overtime Pay rules than California. And they got what they wanted. I hear there rating got down below 80% and at that point they started hiring some of the former reps back as "Outside Consultants"...Temps, with no benefits...to handle the calls their new "Central" Support couldn't. So glad not be there anymore...I'd say words cannot express but I think I just did...
David Pratter - March 16, 2005 - Report this comment
I too was once laid off from a job in the past, I know how one feels when it happens! I can understand, did this happen to you, and is that what inspired you to write the song? I wrote one parody on this site because of a situation really happening to me that did not feel good - "Segregated", which is a Ramones parody. I think this one is definitely funny! You cannot depend on employers keeping you! As a matter of fact, because of my disability, it's been hard to keep a job, but I have two employers who understand me and make accomodations. They know what my illness is and they have more tolerance than most people. My supervisors from both of my jobs even came and testified as witnesses at my hearing to get approved for Social Security Disability Benefits!
Paul Robinson - March 17, 2005 - Report this comment
David P. - Yes, pretty much, although you must allow for the fact that I often embellish circumstances and "borrow" things that happened from others around me and assign them to my 'protagonist'...Actually, I lot of my work here is based on actual personal experiences...I write pieces to things I experience at every opportunity if I can find a way to...Jobs, odd encounters in public, dental work and other torture-derived activities - my travels - a couple of experiences performing my parodies while I was up in San Jose, CA. I usually try and write those as soon as possible...I wrote "Out By The Dumpster" the same evening as it occurred...I had the idea while the picture was being taken of the the Duncans, John Barry and myself out in back of the Espresso Gardens Cafe (you can see it over in the "MessageBoard" section, by the way...it's in the "2nd writer's Photo thread" started by Mari Duncan back in November of 2004 - Yes, we were indeed in very close proximity to ALL the dumpsters from the mall the Cafe was located in...although it did not really smell bad, I could picture and project how it COULD...and then had to access a song in my mind that would be able to supply me with the right phrasing/pacing for a "hook" line...It is fun for me when I can do this and actually come up with something that works. I just wrote one Monday night on an experience I had getting the autograph of a musician/composer I really admire....the first autograph I ever sought in my 54+ years. I started writing it while standing in a VERY long line in the Tower Records parking lot talking to some of the people standing nearby...I've made one or two small changes since Monday night to polish it up, but the bulk and tone of what I wrote is intact from that evening. Haven't posted it yet, want to take a little more time to parse it out...besides, almost no one here will probably know the OS...Anyway, to boil down the last couple hundred words...Yes, I do write from actual experience quite often...I think it is one of my favorite writing activities and I think it really stretches your writing chops to try and do it. Thanks for stopping in...

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