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Song Parodies -> "Secession"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Terry Stafford

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

Tommy Turtle suggested this to me as a hot topic. According to the signers of the Unanimous Declaration, governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed. Not from drone airplanes, IRSS agents, surveillance cameras, and all the other accoutrements of force. A lot of people are withdrawing their consent. As is their right. A person who has no right to withdraw his consent is called a "slave". Though few dare use that word, it is the same issue we face today as our great grandparents faced in 1861.
After this election, I know for certain that it's over
Even though you know out here folks are hurtin', you don't care
While you keep on telling us we're all rolling in the clover
We are down to nothing, but you still want a bigger share

Secession: It's time we part
Secession: It's a good start
Secession: We will be free

Looking to the future, all we can see are pain and sorrow
If we keep doing what we've done, we'll never make things right
What's the sense of working, just so you can tax and borrow?
Will you let us go in peace, or are you gonna fight?

Petition: The peaceful way
Petition: Good-bye we say
Petition: Will you agree?

You had better listen, we are not waiting any longer
It is time we finish what the Founding Fathers had begun
Without you we can build a nation that is free and stronger
You are no Abe Lincoln, this isn't Eighteen Sixty One

Sedition? No, it's our right
Our mission? Tell you good night
Petition? Just let us be

Secession: Did it before
Secession: Won't need a war

(Fade away like the American Dream)

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Barry J. Mitchel - November 20, 2012 - Report this comment
Fine work, fulfilling TT's confidence in you. You'll probably get the same sort of comments (except yours) I got for my recent parody on the same topic.
Flamer - November 20, 2012 - Report this comment
The difference is, should secession take place this time, it'll be the free states seceding from the slave states!
Flamer II - November 20, 2012 - Report this comment
Damn straight!
Lifeliver - November 20, 2012 - Report this comment
I don't buy in to the politics, which is my privilege as a non-American, but I know fine wordcraft when I see it. Nice match on OS for entertaining work.
John Jenkins - November 20, 2012 - Report this comment
Yes, the American dream is fading away. Unfortunately, I live in a state (California) that is not sufficiently enlightened to secede. But fortunately, I live where I can still find fun parodies like this one on AmIRight.
Tommy Turtle - November 21, 2012 - Report this comment
What Barry M. said. And super kudos to Flamer for cutting-edge bon mot. :) :) :) 555+++

For those who missed it, Texas currently has more than 116,000 signatures on the petition at the White House web site,

Most of the 50 states have a petition at that site. Achieving 25,000 signatures requires a response from the POTUS. Other States that have passed that mark include Georgia, Tennessee, Florida, Alabama, North Carolina, and Louisiana. No response from the White House of which I'm aware.

Unfortunately, the publicity over the secession issue brought so much attention to the White House Petition web site that more than a hundred other petitions, most of them nonsense, are now flooding the page, so you have to page through several times to get to the various State petitions. Main White House petition site:

@ John Jenkins: You'd like this one:
"Abolish the illegal federal reserve and return to a gold and silver standard as defined in the U.S constitution"

John, your state of 30 million people has 14,000 signatures so far. Spread the word!
Leough - November 21, 2012 - Report this comment
Great choice of OS and writing to match! 555! It'll be interesting to see how this develops.
Patrick - November 21, 2012 - Report this comment
Glad everyone liked this. What happened to Michael Pacholek? Obama is supposed to respond to petitions achieving a certain number of signatures. Unfortunately, I expect him to follow the precedent of another tall, distinctive-looking Illinois lawyer who was faced with the prospect of a region of the country rejecting federal hegemony. There are a number of fictional stories, including "The Postman" and the current NBC TV series "Revolution", in which California is presented as a separate nation. If States begin seceding, will I have to have a passport to go from Kansas City, Kansas to Kansas City, Missouri? Under Obama, I expect that to happen anyway.
John Jenkins - November 21, 2012 - Report this comment
@Tommy Turtle: Thank for the link. I will sign and spread the word; but, since my state now has Democratic super majorities in both legislative chambers, California as a separate nation might be scarier than the current U.S. government. At least, Republican control of the House of Representatives might provide a little balance and/or gridlock.
Tommy Turtle @ Leough - November 21, 2012 - Report this comment
"Great choice of OS" (coughthankyoucough)
Jeff in Richmond - November 21, 2012 - Report this comment
Another Civil War? Red vs. Blue? I would love a chance to blow away a couple hundred Republicans. Yeeee-hawww!!!
Tommy Turtle @ Jeff in Richmond - November 22, 2012 - Report this comment
I thought Democrats a/k/a Liberals didn't own guns? They seem intent on taking away everyone else's ...
  If one were to read the actual petitions, they request to be allowed to secede *peacefully*, not by war.

for the record, this writer is not a Republican, but a registered Libertarian.

& @ Patrick: Passports need not be required, just as at one time they were not required between Canada and USA. (That was before paranoia became the law of the land, fearing illicit drugs or - gasp! - cheaper prescription drugs.)
Callmelennie - November 22, 2012 - Report this comment
What are you going to throw at the Republicans to "blow them away", Jeff, .. your latest song parody? All the privately held guns are in the red areas .. not to mention 75% of the kids who serve in the Armed Forces .. not to mention the majority of farmland (you know, where the food is grown) .. Still think a shooting war would be a cakewalk?
Patrick - November 26, 2012 - Report this comment
Looks like I've stirred up a hornet's nest. If secession doesn't work, how about expulsion, a la "Survivor", "Big Brother", "Amazing Race", etc.? The Czech Republic and Slovakia managed to separate peacefully. Most European nations and their colonies ended slavery without a war. Maybe we could just push Congress over the fiscal cliff and the rest of us stay up here. Jeff just gave me another great idea. How about reenacting the Second Civil War without actually fighting it? The old TV series "Jericho" was heading in that direction when CBS prematurely pulled the plug on the best show they ever had.

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