Some people think their guts are made outa' stone
They guzzle junk down they should leave alone
Whiskey and beer and spicy food
There's just one cure and I'm tellin' ya' Dude...

Ya' chew Sixteen Tums and you're gonna' get
Rid of indigestion and stomach upset
The doctors don'tcha' call' em...just save your bucks
Take the dime size tablet for acid reflux

Woke up one mornin' with my belly on fire
Chugged spoons a' magnesia, but the flame got higher
I swallowed Sixteen Tums of regular mint
Never had no more problems, not even a hint

Ya' chew Sixteen Tums and you're gonna' get
Rid of indigestion and stomach upset
The doctors don't'cha call 'em..just save your bucks
Take the dime size tablet for acid reflux

Woke up one mornin' after New Year's Eve
Lotta' wild partyin' you wouldn't believe
I phoned an old buddy to say I was dyin'
He says here's the thing, that ya' oughta' be tryin'

Ya' chew Sixteen Tums and you're gonna' get
Rid of indigestion and stomach upset
The doctors don'tcha' call 'em..just save your bucks
Take the dime size tablet for acid reflux

Now you'll see me drinkin' all the booze in sight
Chompin' spicy wings, poppin' food every night
Don't worry 'bout acid, have no innardly fear
Livin' like there's no tomorrow..got the antidote here

Ya' chew Sixteen Tums and you're gonna' get
Rid of indigestion and stomach upset
Those doctors don'tcha' call 'em..just save your bucks
Take the dime size tablet for that acid reflux