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Song Parodies -> "Jay Hawkins"

Original Song Title:

"Cecelia"

Original Performer:

Simon & Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"Jay Hawkins"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

Just saw John Barry's tribute to this Simon & Garfunkel song, to the tune, of course, of "I Put a Spell on You". This reverse "tribute" sort of popped into my head. I intend no disparagement to the memory of the real Jalacy Hawkins nor to his stage persona. These lyrics are based solely upon the character depicted in the song "I Put A Spell On You". If you read between the lines, you see a possessive, obsessive man who wants to dominate and control his woman, and will use spells or other means to keep her in line. He doesn't care what she thinks, he's going to make her "love" him "Because you're mine". In reality, Jay Hawkins was the one that was "running around". Various sources that I looked up claim he fathered between 55 and 75 children during his career.
Jay Hawkins, you're screamin' again
Venting your wrath on her daily
Oh, Jay Hawkins, you're casting your spell
I wish that in Hell it would stay

Jay Hawkins, misogynist dude
Accusing your woman of cheating
Oh, Jay Hawkins, suspicious old bloke
I bet you would choke her to death
Her to death

So-called "love" in the afternoon with Jay Hawkins
Up in his bedroom (so-called "love")
You stood up to slap her face
Dragged her back into bed
As a man, a disgrace

Jay Hawkins, possessive and cruel
You're shaking and beating your lady
Oh, Jay Hawkins, knocked her to her knees
I'm calling police to your home
To your home

Commutation, you strike her again
She fell to the floor, now you're laughing
Violation, you fracture her chin
You call her a whore, now you're slapping

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   7
 7
 7
 

User Comments

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John Barry - October 26, 2012 - Report this comment
Spellbinding.
Rob Arndt - October 26, 2012 - Report this comment
JAB... he ain't jivin', no he ain't lyin' :)
WarrenB - October 26, 2012 - Report this comment
He was a bad seed.
Leough - October 26, 2012 - Report this comment
Oops, I gave you 555 before I remembered that you don't believe in voting on parodies. Sorry. Anyway, nice job on this!
Patrick - October 26, 2012 - Report this comment
I don't mind people numerically voting. I just don't do it myself. What I don't understand are writers such as Scribbling Monkey who writes some very competent parodies, yet deny us the chance to comment. Is Leough a meld of two other names long associated with infrequent but generally very high quality writing? Security code for this comment "855".
Leough - October 26, 2012 - Report this comment
I was just kidding. And yes, I'm Leo Keough - thanks for the compliment. What's the significance of "855"?
Meriadoc - October 26, 2012 - Report this comment
Hmmm....you read all of that into that Spell song? (I can't even listen to enough of it to get anything out of it - ha ha). Looks like Jay might have been the forerunner of rap lyrics then... Really liked the 'calling police' line! ;D
Lifeliver - October 27, 2012 - Report this comment
Interesting concept and background work, Patrick.
Patrick - October 29, 2012 - Report this comment
855 sounded like a really enthusiastic vote. Glad to see Leo still around. There is one of the first tier writers who doesn't even want anyone to mention Jay or his acolytes in his presence.
Patrick - October 29, 2012 - Report this comment
It has been a long time since I've actually listened to "I Put A Spell On You'. My brother has taught me to look for the meanings behind song lyrics. "Spell" is even worse than it sounds. That was what I was trying to show in my parody.

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