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Song Parodies -> "Geographic Conversation"

Original Song Title:

"The Dangling Conversation"

Original Performer:

Simon & Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"Geographic Conversation"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

One of Paul Simon's most beautiful and evocative compositions. I've tried to respect the reflective, melancholy mood.

To lighten things up, Part Two is an idea I got from an uncredited entry on the geography section of a few years back, which I can no longer locate. I've lengthened, embellished and 'spiced' it considerably, so I don't think there would be any copyright issues. It seemed appropriate here. Anyway, it's a little word game anybody can play - try it yourself.

Of course there's no OS for Part Two. For Part One (S & G), it's here


It's a chart of many colors
On the wall of my classroom
The sun lights up a fresh young face
Our lesson we resume

And we sit and ink our copy
Vouching every difference
Shade yellow every shore
Lay light blue where oceans roar
Geographic conversation
And the artificial line
the borders that define

And you trace your Mason-Dixon
And I my Ivory Coast
Our atlases sport highlighters
For treasure islands lost

Like a school map poorly rendered
There are nations out of rhythm
Empires out of rhyme
In post-industrial time
Geographic conversation
And the artificial line
Are the borders that define

Yes, we speak of things that matter
With words that must be said:
Why are politics so hostile?
Is religion really dead?

Childhood sunlight slowly fading
And now I cast no shadow
I do not know my land
It's a stranger now unto me
Geographic conversation
And the artificial line
Form the borders of my time


WAITRESS Hawaii China! Tijuana order now? Don't wanna Russia but how can I Serbia?

CUSTOMER Let's see. I'm Hungary. Ebola Chile and some Java Togo.
A Turkey Brest sandwich with thousand Ireland and tell Sulawesi on the Greece. By the way, Kenya ask if she Azov the rest of the night?

WAITRESS Wyoming! How come you Nebraska? Never mind, Alaska. Kilimanjaro or Columbia? Coffee's strong Seoul Sweden it. You had Somalia. You should drink Lapsong Souchong Timor. It'll Persia.
Anyway, what's got India? Uganda at Soula all the time. She wants to Libya.

CUSTOMER Want Tibet? I Adelaide last night. Agave one.
WAITRESS Iraq! I don't Bolivia! Jamaica?

CUSTOMER Bechuana Taiwan on too. I'm a Myanmar! Ever had anything this Sardinia? Suez.

WAITRESS So USA, but Marseilles Norway, Chad! There Yugo again - never seen a Manila. You really Ararat. Nothing Budapest. Always Europe in these Maldives trying to Laos. Spain in Djibouti. Anatolia before, Madeira, I'll make Albania. Well, I would except Egypt me. Ghana get a new Korea.
I'm afraid you can't Romania. Here's your Czech. Try France Delhi across the street, but Sidon Bangkok over there either. Or Gobi and try Queensland. Or Sicilia - she's Peking. It'll make the Rhodesia for all of us.
CUSTOMER Fine. Here's a Tennessee, keep the change. Ceylon, Abysinnia.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

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User Comments

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Meriadoc - October 15, 2012 - Report this comment
I don't know if this is relevant, but I have a globe in my room that still has French West Africa on it... ;) Kenya top that?
Lifeliver - October 15, 2012 - Report this comment
Oman! Must be Georgian or even Victorian!
John Barry - October 15, 2012 - Report this comment
Tommy Turtle - October 16, 2012 - Report this comment
Uruguay who's either created, or jumped to the head of, the genre of "stream of consciousness parody", and I rather like the way you let your mind wander. (Mine's been wandering for years, and I can never find it.)

I've Peru some of the place-name puns before, even in the pre-Internet days. Can I still Five this? Why, I Belize so!

(parody with pun on Uruguay as the kicker at the end: )
Lifeliver - October 16, 2012 - Report this comment
@ JAB Are you Syria's?

@ TT For 'stream of consciousness' parody, I think the above-mentioned JB has that genre well covered. But I do like to let my mind Rwanda.

Like many of us, I'd like to get paid for this kind of thing, but my employment prospects are about as good as a Venezuela.
Tommy Turtle - October 17, 2012 - Report this comment
I've been paid for a few, but it not very much -- *trust me*. Four of which have mp3s at Soundclick, with lyrics posted here, but producer still holding on to exclusive rights of a few others due to still getting some requests for them from the stations to which he syndicates. No links. If you're interested, let me know; if not, not. Just sayin' it doesn't pay all that well unless you become Weird Al or whatever.
  I didn't get Venezuela. (Ritchie) Valens, nee Valenzuela? (RIP; hence, no empl. prospects)

TT has parodied "The Wanderer"; you might like to do "The Rwanda-er"? Funny on title switch alone.
Lifeliver - October 17, 2012 - Report this comment
The only real way to a modicum of fame and fortune is if you can perform your own work as well as you can write it, and I'd hazard a guess there are very few Amirighters who pass muster. I sure know I'm not one of them.

Yes, I am interested in knowing more about your success stories - can't promise when, though. I have various pressing personal matters coming up in the next month or so.

Venezuela= 'Venice whaler', on the premise there aren't too many large cetaceans spooning around the Adriatic. Such a profession wouldn't go down well on that hip LA beach, either. Yeah, lame, I know. How about 'as employable as Argentine Nantes in Lapland'? Aah, forget it!
Tommy Turtle - October 18, 2012 - Report this comment
No rush (or obligation, ever), but here's the list of sold parodies whose lyrics were allowed to be posted here after they became obsolete:

"Born To Be Styled (John Edwards)"
  written and *permission released* before the scandalous affair became known, which surely gave the producer some extra mileage for his one-time buyout.

"It's About Crime (Lisa Nowak)" -- the astro-nut, to
"It's About Time (TV theme song)" -- from the same folks who gave us "Gilligan's Island"

"Release Me (Scooter Libby)"

"I Picked A Girl (John McCain)" to Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl"
co-written wtih TJC

Professionally-produced and aired renditions of the above, in mp3 format, at

This parody of H. Clinton's alleged misdeeds while in the White House was updated, to same OS, for the 2008 POTUS campaign, but I've not been allowed to post the updated (sold) one, because she was considered as a possible replacement for Biden in 2012, and remains a topical political figure:
OOPS! Just went there and saw that LL and TT had extensive convo there. Well, if anyone else is interested ....

"Shouldn't It Be Hillary?" (as 2008 VP choice), also co-written with TJC, to
"Wouldn't It Be Loverly?" from "My Fair Lady" Alas, they cut out about half of it, not for censorship, but for time. See time comment @ "I Picked A Girl".

"I'm Not Gay", re: Larry Craig's airport mishaps, which inspired several other TT parodies, but only this one was sold. Unable to post the mp3 because he's still getting requests for it. Timeless, I guess, as is TOS. ("Yesterday")

Again, no rush or obligation. Kind of gives some idea of what radio syndicators are looking for -- *very* topical, short, uncomplicated (hard for TT to do that lol), and not too ribald. Listeners are driving cars to work, etc.

Re: your opening comment: I tell people that I write for the same reason that Rocky was a boxer: "Because I can't sing or dance." ;)

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