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Song Parodies -> "Boldfinger"

Original Song Title:

"Goldfinger"

Original Performer:

Shirley Bassey / James Bond Movie Theme

Parody Song Title:

"Boldfinger"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

(loud brass-section instrumental intro)

BOLDFINGER!

He's the Doc,
The Doc with the Midas touch -
Inside-ass touch!

Such a BOLD finger!

(loud brass riff)

Rectums rue
His entering there within...butt-holes' co-lons!

Latex firm he will bore in your rear
As you lie with your thighs by your ears

"Your pros-tate's swol-len - that's why you block, sir -
I can tell be-cause, I'm Doc-tor - "

BOLDFINGER!

(loud brass riff)

Pretty boy
Beware when he says "Disrobe" -

Your butt he'll probe!

Latex firm he will bore in your rear
As you lie with your thighs by your ears

Now you've told your wife
Words that have shocked her:
"Honey, please pre-tend, you're Doc-tor - "

BOLDFINGER!

(loud brass riff)

Shitty world
That's where Doctor's finger goes -

Below your hose!

He'll say to disrobe!
To disrobe!
Then he'll probe!
Your prostate he'll probe!
He will probe!
LOVES TO PROBE!
LOVES TO PROBE!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   1
 1
 1
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adagio - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL...joke on me!
Johnny D - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Heh heh heh, thanks, Pat!
TJC - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent... scans beautifully. You in the business? You seem to have intimate colo-rectal insight... at least enough to know that there's a 'vas deferens' between men and women! Great job!
Kristof Robertson - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
So classy as always, Johnny....555
Johnny D - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
TJC: Thanks - nope, I'm not a proctologist, and I don't play one on TV either. Butt they're great parody material. There's no end to the proctology jokes you can pull out of your ass. By the way, did your vote register? You might want to double-check if you get the chance - and thanks for the kind words!

Kristof: Thanks, KR .... it's that lassy Shirley Bassey who's sassy-girly-classy!
Stray Pooch - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
I was thinking of taking up proctology to cure this nasty nail-biting habit . . . Anyway, great job ass usual, Johnny. The most painful probe I ever received was from a woman doctor. I think she had "issues." This song brought back those painful memories! Thanks a crapload, dude! 555 anyway. Aside to TJC: "vas deferens" AUUUGHH! Perfect pun! You should be hung! :D
Johnny D - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Stray Pooch....ironic, the least un-comfortable probe I ever received was from a woman doctor - and YES it was in a clinical examination setting!
The Thought Police - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Not "Brown-in-Eye",not"Give and get Thigh" ,not "In her Majesty's secret surface",or even,"Octopussy" could match the pulse-pounding ,ground shaking action of this parody! Three fives for you !
The Thought Police - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Ummm,Stray Pooch,could you get me that docs number ?
John Barry - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
The whole hand would be 5 (x3)
Johnny D - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
TTP: "BOLDFINGER! - - BWAH-WAHHHHHH-WAHH!" Thanks!!

John Barry: Thanks! Are you referring to "The Spy Who Gloved Me" ?
Troy - June 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Hahahahaha that sounds like a job for John Hopoate!!!! All 5's mate!
Johnny D - June 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Troy!
Leo Jay - June 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Ha! Ha! (Cough! Cough!) Ha!
Johnny D - June 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Leo Jay! Dr. B. says you can get dressed now.
alvin rhodes - June 25, 2004 - Report this comment
HAHAHAHA..i'm still a virgin in this respect, but at my age, i know my time is near....5s
Johnny D - June 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks alvin...yes...your time is sneaking right up BEHIND you...bwaw-WAWW-waww.
The Thought Police - June 25, 2004 - Report this comment
This "Hole" thing could be a "Casino Royale"pain in the Butt !
Michael McVey - June 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Where I used to live there actually was someone with that fetish. He once got fired from a nursing home for doing "rectal exams" on the patients. Yucky, imo, but he got off on that. Anyway, has anyone seen my parody of the same song, "Prickteaser"? -- MM
Johnny D - June 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Michael ..... Yes, I read, voted, and commented on "Prickteaser" back in February ..... folks, here it is:

http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/shirleybassey3.shtml
Rick D - September 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh Crap! Johnny, I didn't know or completely forgot about this one! I would not have put mine on if I had remembered. (Would havve been really embarrassing if there were comments from me here.) Whenever it's late and I'm stuck for an idea, I grab my list of AFI top 100 films or my Billboard book and slam one out. I used to use Chucky's search, but that went away. I thought knew your stuff well enough to not step in it. Oh well, Fives for you.
Johnny D - September 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh Rick, don't sweat it, dude! I'm honored to be sharing similar parody inspirations with the likes of you!

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