Who goes to drag races, wearing Wrangler jeans
But underneath this façade therein lies a queen
The Panty Man, Oh the Panty Man’s can
The Panty Man’s can is cradled so silky soft, beneath his Red Man ring

Who likes doing NASCAR, in his checkered briefs
Always talkin’ shop like he’s one racy pit crew chief
The Panty Man, oh the Panty Man’s can
The Panty Man’s can has been sponsored by Playtex, and ‘Days of Underthings’

The Panty Man smokes with the Firestone folks and a possi-grip transmission
It’s a real gender bender collision, When he takes the pole position

Oh, who can hide his dip stick, slip it in between
Genital Olympics, have him bursting at the seams
The Panty Man, oh the Panty Man’s can
The Panty Man’s can holds endorsements from the ones who make his lingerie

The Panty Man isn’t going to disqualify with apparel
If his panties don’t unfurl, his job will not be in peril

Yeah, yeah, yeah
Who can drive a hot rod, with no panty lines
Jump into a racecar by wiggling his behind
The Panty Man, the Panty Man’s can
The Panty Man’s can rests in a fabric so sheer it helps him through his day
Yes, the Panty Man’s can’s wrapped in satin so soft it helps him win the race
The Panty Man, The Panty Man, The Panty Man
Panty Man, The Panty Man, The Panty Man
Panty Man, The Panty Man, The Panty Man