-> "Doctor's Little Helper"
Original Song Title:
"Mother's Little Helper"
Parody Song Title:
"Doctor's Little Helper"
What a drag it is when you're sold.(1)
"When you're sick it never pays,"
So every man seems to say,
And there's pills to make your illness run and hide,
While you're indeed very ill,
Doctor's got this newest pill...
He reaches for the shelter, where the reps stand helter-skelter, (2)
And he finds something that pays, so he sends you on your way.
The snoops of the DEA,
Watch *everyone* today, (3)
No matter if you are choking back a scream,
So he says 'this will help' and it makes you shoot yourself.
He runs for Big Pharma's shelter, where the law gives him a helper,
And he finds an out today, so they let him get away.
Oh what sleeze, Big Pharma sees,
Behind every door, there's suckers more,
What a drag it is when you're sold.
"Patients are not the same today,"
I hear every doctor say,
They won't just eat what is given and then die,
It's not easy to pitch the lies, and you have to advertize.
So go running for the shelter, of the doctor's greatest helper,
Some morphine for a smile, then a dose of Valium in a while.
Oh what ease, These samples please,
Inside the door, just eat some more,(4)
What a drag it is getting sold.
"Practice is just too hard these days,"
So most every doctor says,
Treating hundreds of patients is such a chore,
Toss your shingle in the fire, become Big Pharma's scripted liar,
Now you dwell forever after, in the realms of evil laughter,
Kill sick people every day, all that matters is your pay.
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