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Song Parodies -> "(I Can't Get No) Gland Reaction"

Original Song Title:

"(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction"

Original Performer:

Rolling Stones

Parody Song Title:

"(I Can't Get No) Gland Reaction"

Parody Written by:

Stan Hall

The Lyrics

"(I Can't Get No) Gland Reaction"

I can’t get no gland reaction
I can’t get no Ban® to act, run!
I confide even I’d quickly stride from my side …
I can get so
ripe when sweat-soaked.

When I’m ripe I smell bizarre
´cause that Ban® roll-on’s betrayed me so
that I’m smellin’ – egad! What’s more,
even two-stick combination
just won’t dry my perspiration.
I can’t make no BO go … away today.

I can’t get no gland reaction
My man sweat flows: bad olfaction!
And I’ve tried hard to hide, even lied and denied
I can get so
ripe when sweat-soaked.

When I wash with Ivory®
and then Ban® still won’t de-smell me,
how ripe my shirts can be!
So I can’t use it, man, seem’s a dirty joke
and a shame I;m still sweaty, see.
I can’t make no BO go … away today.

I can’t get no Ban® to act, run!
My Ban® gets no gland reaction.
Don’t know why I don’t buy Certain Dri® for a try …
I can get so
ripe when sweat-soaked.

When my hide is drowned in myrrh
and I’ve used some Zest® and I’ve applied some talc
and then I’m chided by some churl
who tells me maybe better step back, baby, you reek,
man, I see the roll on I use is weak.
I can’t make no BO go … away today.

I can’t get no Ban® to act, run!
All I get’s “Whoa ! Step back, mon!”
No Ban® impact, run!
No gland reaction,
No satisfaction!
© Stan Hall ... hahahaha -- bet everyone was expecting an something involving an entirely different sort of gland. Oh well ... hope you don't all decide this parody is really the pits. :-)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   3
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User Comments

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McKludge - March 10, 2008 - Report this comment
Maybe you should use some powder or something.

Oh wait, THAT gland. Never mind.
John Barry - March 10, 2008 - Report this comment
Loved your litany of shvitzing-nixing.
alvin - March 10, 2008 - Report this comment
worked up a sweat laughing....very descriptive...and yes, i thought it was about another topic
AFW - March 10, 2008 - Report this comment
By posting this parody you must give up your second ammendment rights...(to bare arms) :-}
Ann Hammond - March 10, 2008 - Report this comment
he he he
Stan - March 11, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, all. AFW - bare arms sounds to me more appendage- than amendment-related. -)
littleCupCakes - March 11, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir stan, . . . it could be < SKUNK > . . .

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