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Song Parodies -> "I Enjoy Being a Xorn"

Original Song Title:

"I Enjoy Being a Girl"

Original Performer:

Rogers and Hammerstein

Parody Song Title:

"I Enjoy Being a Xorn"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

If you haven't heard of Nethack, it's a really great game. You can get ithere. Anyway, that's what this song is about. It popped into my head one day in Calculus class.
I am morphed and I'm still me and that's just great!
I am proud that my sillhouette is scary.
That I walk with a certain shambling gait.
I obliterate the weak and the unwary.
I adore getting wishes from a wand, and I don't wish for any kind of scroll,
no, the thing that I want is so much better, I need a blessed ring of polymorph control!

When I have a ring of polymorph,
and my plate mail isn't worn,
well I don't wanna be no king dwarf,
I enjoy being a Xorn.

when Titans say I'm not so tall, and
they give me a look of scorn,
well, I turn and walk right through the wall,
I enjoy being a Xorn.

I flip when a fellow drops his dagger!
I drool over items made of tin!
If a weapon's cursed then it might make me stagger!
But I'm still the monster who's gonna make me win!

I'm morphin' from male to female, and my future I hope will be,
in the home of the evil wizard, who I'll kill,
take all his loot, and then ascend, home free.

My magic rings taste like candy,
for the loss of them I won't mourn,
cause intrinsics can come in handy,
I enjoy being a xorn.

My skin and limbs are like boulders,
so it's hard for them to be shorn.
Plus I've got three heads on three shoulders,
I enjoy being a xorn.

When I'm shot at by a magic missile, that beats my attacking by a lot,
I turn and I glower and I grizzle, cause I should be magic resistant, but I'm not!

I'm morphin' from male to female, and my future I hope will be,
in the home of the evil wizard, who I'll kill,
take all his loot, and then ascend, home free.
Come to you want to read a collection of stupid quotes I've personally heard said.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   0
 4   1
 5   2

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - April 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Far OUT! 5's
Xorn - January 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Sweet =) Thank you =)
Lili - March 17, 2006 - Report this comment
As a fellow Nethack player, I found this to be absolutely hilarious, not to mention well done. Excellent job :)

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