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Song Parodies -> "Can't Get Accustomed to His Pace"

Original Song Title:

"I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face"

Original Performer:

Rex Harrison

Parody Song Title:

"Can't Get Accustomed to His Pace"

Parody Written by:

Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

I think I can speak for TT as well (although my comments will be shorter!) when I say that a new collaboration takes some pulling and tugging to get "in sync". Here's our story-- the absolute unvarnished truth. ;)
Da*m! Da*m! Da*m! Da*m!

Can’t get accustomed to his pace
He’s picky as the day is long
Shreds all my brilliant lines to bits
With half-a-million nits
“Off here—you see?
Not hard, watch me!”

Ms. Fiddle’s pacing, pure disgrace
Should be on list of Deadly Sins
If she would only be more careful with her counts in every line,
Read my Guide To Perfect Pacing: Homework, I assign
But as it is, can’t overlook
Each rough, misguided choice
She *must* learn how to pace!


FG: “Write with Turtle!” What an infantile idea. What an impulsive, naïve, foolish thing to do. I’ll regret it; I’ll regret it! I’m doomed to have each lyric disavowed!


I can see me now, Mrs. Fiddle Writing-Hood
Typing on my little keyboard, fingers sore.
I can see me now, with pneumonia taken ill,
Mind fatigued, but still the Turtle, stern: “Once more!”
I’ll try to write the way he wishes
And end up writing jingles instead.
Wishing I were with the fishes
While Professor floods my lyrics with red!

In a year or so, when her fans have gone away.
And the Five-ings that she seeks have turned to squawks
She'll come back, bow low, and be begging on her knees
For the erudition of the Turtle Talks
Poor Ms. Fiddle. Back then, so spiteful!
Now, ingratiating! And invite-ful!

How gratifying: she, in massive emails day and night
As she clamors, "Teach me more, to write your way"
Pitiable that only with me can she write right
Will I take her back, or let her drown in Ones?
Give her lessons or a spanking for her nerve?
Will I share with her my most impressive clout?

But I'm a Turtle, ever kind
Although a sheep, I would; never could
Stop exposition, or even hold a grudge
With all, I share my mind
But, she'll not have another crack
If she were begging, "Pretty please"
Let her write it on her own
Let her readers gag and groan
I'll help no more; condemned forever: Threes!

“Write with Turtle”—Ha!

But maybe soon I’ll hear him say
“You got it, kid! Hooray!!!
No more of those
‘Rewrite—this blows!’
Pace: second nature to you now
Each syllable a perfect fit
And though you’re not a math’matician;
For analysis, no clue;
Still I’m very happy
To be writing songs with you.”
I’ll be so proud to share my space
With Turtle here on AIR;
Accustomed to his pace.

Accustomed to her grace

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

metaphorsbwithu - September 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Great stuff! Clever and funny to boot. I guess you can get a silky verse from a sowwerful ear! But poor Fair Girly. A piece of advice. Pay for an editor to "fix" your stuff and avoid the high-browbeating. :-D Just kidding of course!
AFW - September 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Great pacing and fit on this...very fine parody
blackjack21 - September 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Hmm, verrry interesting...and scary all at the same time. Fiddlegirl, are you OK? He's brainwashed you hasn't he? Curses, I told you never to look a turtle in the eye! Hang in there, girl, we will find you and free you from his evil...uh, dastardly....hmm...(psst, what does a turtle have on the end of his arms?) Oh! Flippers! Yes, we will free you from his evil flippers! ;-D
Henry Higgins - September 01, 2009 - Report this comment
“You got it, kid! Hooray!!

@ AJ21: I believe the word you were looking for was "Machiavellian" :) :)

How The Duplicate Submission Happened (Parodus Duplicatus) - September 01, 2009 - Report this comment
It's all TT's fault, of course (psst - guys: with a woman, it's *always* your fault. Say "Yes, Dear",and then you can watch the rest of the game in peace.)
R FG had already submitted our final draft before TT reminded her to add the copyright notice to the draft. DK she had already submitted it, and it's not that big a deal, (Your copyrights to your works are automatic, whether you spell it out or not.)

But ever eager to please, FG re-subbed it with the copyright, and emailed ChuckyG to remove the first one. Didn't happen -- the poor guy has a thousand chores on this site, and a Real Job as well -- hence, the duplicate.

Cheers and thanks, all, for the snide comments :) :) :) j/k -- enjoyed them thoroughly, but as most were directed to the better half of the pair, will let said half do the direct responses.
TJC - September 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Fantastic Broadway production... uber-clever concept and exectuion--all the little nuances really shine through... It's three cheeky cheers for Lex Harrison and Revisa Dewelittle!
Fiddlegirl - September 01, 2009 - Report this comment
@ M4, AFW, BJ21: What an honor to have such gallant gentlemen as yourselves here. I've always relied on the kindness of parodists... ;)

TJC: And I thought you couldn't top the Rhymanic Duo! Love the new nicks... :D
FG (short for "ForGetful") - September 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Should have hyperlinked the Guide to Perfect Parody Pacing in the song... here's the link.
Henry Higgins - September 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Eliza Dofiddle, you linked it in the other post -- the one that also had the copyright. *That*'s the one that should have stayed :)

Gallant gentlemen, indeed! You set them up with
"takes some pulling and tugging to get "in sync".
and not one of them even touched it! Class crowd, here, definitely!
TT @ TJC - September 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Having been a victim yourself, I'm sure that you can empathize with poor Revisa! :) ... thanks from this half as well.
FG @ HH - September 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Indeed they are! (But I knew *you* could be counted on to notice!...hehehe)
Christie Marie M - September 01, 2009 - Report this comment
(Applauds happily): Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle at their finest! Awesome performance! I echo all comments above! And Tommy's Guide to Perfect Parody Pacing is very helpful to me and gave me useful tips to pace parodies well even though I already know how. Great job, you two! A 555 star performance!
Tommy Turtle - September 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Christie Marie M: (bows gratefully) Thank you, and thank you for the comment on the Pacing Guide. Yes, you're a very good writer, but I hope it truly can be of some help to you. We're all still learning -- at least, I know I am. Thanks for v/c -- and when will you be writing again? Looking forward to it!
Old Man Ribber - September 02, 2009 - Report this comment
C'mon Dover! Move your bloomin' arse! ;D
TT - September 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Old Man Ribber: At which of us is that directed? :) lol! ... that *was* one of the funniest scenes! Thanks for double-commenting!
FG @ OMR - September 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Laughing my bloomin a** off! You're always so funny... and @ TT: That's one of my all-time favorite scenes in any movie, anywhere! :D
Leo Keough - September 02, 2009 - Report this comment
This version came up first (top-to-bottom) on my New Entries Screen, so I'll comment here...Great job of poking fun at yourselves!!!...Just be glad you don't have to worry whether Turtle will find pacing errors in the finished product...555!!!
Tommy Turtle - September 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Leo Keough: That *is* an upside, isn't it? :) :) :) .. but what poor Liza must go through to get there ;) Thanks for v/c, Leo!
FG @ Leo - September 06, 2009 - Report this comment
Hehehe... Eh, He's always giving me "shell" about something! ;)

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