(Chief consultant)
When your firm has a yearning
For a quick fix for earnings
You can always just
(Consultant chorus)
Downsize

(Chief consultant)
You suddenly fear you
Have no new ideas
You can always just
(Consultant chorus)
Downsize

(Chief consultant)
Who cares if your workforce should react by being depressive,
Your bottom line next quarter will truly be impressive,
Unemployment is good,
When joblessness it should rise
Interest rates go right down, the economy flies,
When you (Consultant chorus) downsize,
(CEO)
It hurts to do I swear,
(Consultant chorus)
Downsize
(CEO)
But who said that life was fair
(Consultant chorus)
Downsize
It's somewhere waiting for you.

(Chief Consultant)
You're starting to think
That your firm's on the blink,
You can always just
(CEO)
Downsize

(Chief Consultant)
Your plan didn't mesh
And the board wants your flesh,
You can always just
(CEO)
Downsize

Who cares if pink slips make your workforce paranoid and fearing,
Tell the Wall Street Journal that you're just re-engineering,
Shareholders will cheer
You're a genius they will say
And one thing's for sure about your CEO pay

(Chorus)
It's going uptown
(Chief Consultant)
There's a big raise for you,
(Chorus)
Guess what
(Chief Consultant)
You get stock options, too
(CEO)
Hooray for me and the hell with you.
(All)
Downsize,
Downsize,
Downsize,
It's somewhere waiting for you!