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Song Parodies -> "If I Had A Tapeworm"

Original Song Title:

"If I Had A Hammer"

Original Performer:

Peter Paul & Mary

Parody Song Title:

"If I Had A Tapeworm"

Parody Written by:

Tim Hall

The Lyrics

If I had a tapeworm
Living in my intestines
I'd have diarrhea
Loss of appetite
I'd have malnutrition
Because it's a parasite
It puts me at risk of having internal infections
Throughout my body

If I had a pill
I'd take it in the morning
I'd take it in the evening
Until the thing's dead
My health's in danger
If they produce larvae
These things could escape and invade all the major organs
Cysts could develop

When I have to eat
I make sure my food is cooked through
And freshwater fish
You do not eat raw
When I order a steak
It's cooked medium rare
Because the heat, will kill any and all parasites
And I will be safe

Got rid of that tapeworm
Because I took my pill
I don't eat walleye sushi
I feel much better
Sat on the toilet
And something felt diffrent
That thing was so long, that worm was hiding in my feces
Now I wash my hands.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

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Mark Scotti - June 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Squimmingly funny! Reminds me of an old Three stooges joke, "I'll have burnt toast and a rotten egg." "Burn't toast and a rotten egg????" "Yeah, I got a tapeworm, and it's good enough for him!!!!"

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