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Song Parodies -> "Damn, My Polls are Saggin'"

Original Song Title:

"Puff the Magic Dragon"

Original Performer:

Peter, Paul & Mary

Parody Song Title:

"Damn, My Polls are Saggin'"

Parody Written by:

Mark Schwenke

The Lyrics

Damn, my polls are saggin'! People must see.
I’ve politicked with arrogance
And a lack of honesty.
Floated propaganda that I'm ChiTown tough.
I pulled some strings and promised tax
And no one called my bluff. Oh!

Damn, my polls are saggin'! Why can't they see?
I've made amends for U.S. sins
With my apology.
So, opinion's flaggin'!!??!! On bended knee,
A smitten press still sings my praise.
I love the sophistry!

Little did they know that, when they elected me,
I'd take a mile high club joy ride and buzz NYC.
Saudi kings were graced with my bows wheneer I came
Their kingdom's filled with camel dung.
George Bush must be to blame!! Oh!

Though some tongues are waggin', it don't bother me.
A hundred days of power grab
Cements my legacy.
Yes, I know I'm braggin'. I care not, you see.
I've had it with mere mortals who
Are clinging bitterly.

"President Forever" ... that has a tempting ring
My work's not done, the Left's not won till I own everything.
"Annointed One" sounds better. It fits the prophesy.
No need to have a Day of Prayer so I can pray to me. Oh!

Blank, straight-faced zig-zaggin', that's my policy.
My gifts to all are second sight
And perfect deity.
Sure, my polls are saggin', but I'm now home-free.
I know what's best for one and all.
Goodbye democracy.
Copyright 2009 Mark Schwenke

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Timmy1000 - May 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Bound to happen - people were looking for instant cure. Good write on this one.
Michael Pacholek - May 14, 2009 - Report this comment
What polls are you looking at? The President has a 66 percent approval rating. The American people know: Conservatism doesn't work, liberalism does.
Patrick - May 14, 2009 - Report this comment
I like your comments on "President for Life". Other presidents have merely been popular, this man is worshiped. Holding a day of prayer so he can pray to himself, a truly inspired line. By the time his policies take effect and his poll numbers start falling like home prices and the stock market, it will be too late.
Mark Scotti - May 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Funny take on the OS. Liked it...
norCALvotress - May 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Liberalism does what ? . . . .Lord Pacholek? Sir, you better take a trip to California . . . seeing Liberalism causing mass stagnation! And July 1st is only weeks away from another ' budget ' crisis! !
Tommy Turtle - May 14, 2009 - Report this comment
I never thought I'd find myself typing the following words, but. ... What norCALvotress said.
And Patrick's fave line about prayer to himself. SNL's Pres Bash '08 truly sent up the media worship of the Anointed One, and so did you. 555

Michael P: With the media fawning, it's no wonder the polls are biased. And if you'll tell me what a DAP is (for Wild Bill) , I'll forgo all jokes/puns about the "Poles". Fair enough, friend? :-) :-) :-)
rob - May 14, 2009 - Report this comment
M.P. - conservativism hasnt been presented in any politician since Ronald Reagan. but dont worry, we'll be a socialist 3rd world nation soon and we'll all be bitter like liberals who are jealous of achievers, greedy for the gains of others, and lack integrity.
Michael Pacholek - May 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Tommy: DAP, in its original form, is an industrial paste used to build things. On ESPN's "Pardon the Interruption," though, "DAP" is a synonym for credit for a team having done well or one of the panelists (Washington Post sports columnists Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon) having gotten a seemingly ill-advised prediction right. And Rob: Pay attention. It is the liberals who are the current achievers, and the right-wingers who are jealous, greedy and lack integrity. You don't know what the hell socialism is, and Ronald Reagan damaged this country's blue-collar base so badly we're still feeling the effects. He wasn't a good President, he just played one on TV. And read "Tear Down This Myth" by Will Bunch: You'll see that, by 2009 standards, he wasn't even a "true conservative."
Mark Schwenke - May 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Spirited debate from politically polarizing lyrics -- that's gratifying. And thanks for the feedback. Back to the parody ... my own editing procedures failed me. Rather than resubmit, I'll note changes here to correct grammer and clumsey phrasing: -- instead of "Cements," insert "Cement" -- instead of "So, opinion's flaggin'!!??!! On bended knee," insert "Honeymoon's a flaggin', but on bended knee" -- instead of "Blank, straight-faced zig-zaggin'" insert "Poker-faced zig-zaggin'" -- instead of "but I'm now home-free," insert "but now I'm home-free" I'll be less careless next time. Thanks again.
rob - May 15, 2009 - Report this comment
MP says liberals are achievers? they achieve my money, those liberal thiefs. outside of bailing out big businesses with my money and spending more than all republican politicians put together, what else have these filthy rats achieved? can we be honest here, i mean, everyone see what these scum suckers are doing. it cant be hid so admit it or look like a "me too" thief.
Below Average Dave - May 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Comment to rob, the bailouts started under Bush, not the "Liberal Thieves" . . .and I'd like to see your stats on spending more than "All republican politicans put together" and clarification on WHO exactly spent, I mean if you mean Democrats in general, well, theirs only two parties, one has spent more than the other "put together". . .I'm more or less playing devil's advocate here, I'm not a fan of either party as has been made well known, but if you are going to make an argument claiming facts, at least make sure they are in fact--facts
rob - May 16, 2009 - Report this comment
unreal. anyone watch ANY TV NEWS about how obama has ordered more spending than ALL OF AMERICA FROM DAY 1 ON ???????? if i have to copy and paste newspaper articles from newspapers from major cities, you arent being honest and i'm wasting time. bush is a liberal, and yes, he started it and was wrong. i wish liberals could be honest like conservatives. i admit he is a rat s*** piece-o-crap. ok liberals, wanna fess up bout o-bomb-a and his 57 states and his other screw ups like bailing out big businesses and sending in more troops? where is the anger at this? any one wanna critisise o-bomb-a yet? i didnt think so... and as for bush doing the first bail out, why compound it 10 fold and make it worse? anyone wanna condemn your man for this? i didnt think so. get use to having to eat crow and you are being cowardly and dishonest to not condem that which you condem republicans for. i hate repub and demoncrat politicians, but i detest the liberal voters more as they tolerate every wrong of thier ilk. do you raise your kids that way? well - you do if they know you stick up for all this crap your lib politicians do. while you condone it. at least conservatives protested bush and mc cain by NOT VOTING IN 2006 & 2008. i cant help it if the repubs turn idiot, but i wont support them. you libs all stick with 'em. NO INTEGRITY !
Below Average Dave - May 16, 2009 - Report this comment
I think you missed my comment, I don't like either party. . .Obama is far from great, he's better than Bush IMHO, but his support of the Guantanamo Bay and hiding photos the courts said to reveal, I don't support that at all, you assume because I hate Bush (and McCain for that matter) I like Obama. . .I don't think that's what I said. McCain was more liberal in his ideology than Bush was, so I find it funny that you'd make some big case for McCain/Palin, Obama is not entirely liberal either, but that's not here or there. You are bein irrational, I do watch the news when the grass stops growing, prove your statements, that's all I said, you can scream, yell etc all you want, it doesn't make it true any more than the news media themselves are always 'true' and accurate, did you hear about the story where a kid posted something on Wikipedia as a quote from a dead literary poet and it made big news everywhere, even on CNN?? Yeah, if you are going to say something outrageous like Obama spent more from Day 1 than all the republicans in the history of the party, sorry, but that is a lie and I want to see your source, it's nothing personal, but that's not true. Hell Bush is responsible for a lot of our debt, Bil (who is unquestionably liberal) left us with a surplus--that's factual, not speculation like your words are, and I don't think anyone feels he was a perfect president either. . .the first Bush didn't leave us with the kind of mess the second one did either, I don't think you grasp, BOTH PARTIES TOTALLY SUCK, and no true Liberal OR Conservative exists on capital hill, they all cave to those who throw the most money at them.

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