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Song Parodies -> "The Ballad of Janet Jackson (Theme from the 2004 Super Bowl)"

Original Song Title:

"The Ballad of Jed (Theme from the Beverly Hillbillies)"

Original Performer:

Paul Henning

Parody Song Title:

"The Ballad of Janet Jackson (Theme from the 2004 Super Bowl)"

Parody Written by:

Robert J. Pagliaro

The Lyrics

Come 'n listen to my story 'bout a halftime strip
A Torn bustier baring Janet Jackson's nip
Began Sunday, we was lookin' at the tube,
When' out thru the set came poppin' a boob.
Chest that is! Black tip! Texas teat!

Well, the first thing ya know, the pix are everywhere
Jus-tin said, "Hey, wasn't that some tear?"
Jan said "I'm sorry that it wasn't meant to be,"
Then the network passed the buck, put the blame on M-T-V
Lies that is! Singin' fools, Record stars!

That Nip kept a flashin', Lawdy it was swank
'cept on many stations where there was just a blank
Lotsa folks objected, 'bout the knocker on their screen
This titty viewed by millions was ut-ter-ly obscene
Pierced, that is! Silver Sun, On the right one!

Well now it's time to say goodbye to Jan and her c-cup
The guys would like to thank her jugs fer kindly showing up
You're all invited to pro-test this gross in-de-cen-cy,
I'll take my heapin' helpin' of Janet's Mammary.
Naked boobie, that is! Breast or Bust, Take your bra off!
See Ya at the Grammy's, hear?

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 32

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   28

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Guy - February 04, 2004 - Report this comment
BRAvo. Well done Robert. Where ya been? Haven't seen you about for a while. I'm fiving this one.
mac - February 04, 2004 - Report this comment
No boobie prize for this one... good stuff.
Adagio - February 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Really cute and flows good. 5's
Claude Prez - February 04, 2004 - Report this comment
They replayed that damn fourth and inches stop fifty times but not this; WTF? I hope it's on Fox next year. At an outdoor stadium. Oh yeah great job as usual.
Meriadoc - February 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Udderly hilarious!
Robert J. Pagliaro - February 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks to all - hell, after this year Claude, let's air it on MTV. Guy, how the hell are ya? Haven't had anything funny to say which is why I've been away. I see you've been having a gas though. bob
sloatead - February 04, 2004 - Report this comment
not that you need them, but here's my 5's
BOB - February 04, 2004 - Report this comment
After reading that, I'm BOOBLED!
M. Marbury - February 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Very, very funny. I LOVE IT!!!
Chad - February 05, 2004 - Report this comment
36 votes already? You have way more votes per parody than anyone else. Please share your secret.
Jen - February 05, 2004 - Report this comment
loved it - it was better than cats.
ChuckyG - February 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Chad: Topical parodies can be great for a quick voting boost. I believe this was the only Janet Jackson Super Bowl parody on the Monday after it happened, which helped it really stand out.
Robert J. Pagliaro - February 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks all for reading and thanks for the votes. Chad: Chuck hit it on the head - topical parodies probably have a better chance of generating votes - especially an incident that provokes strong opinions. Certainly, if a parody is the only one out there on a subject, it's going to get looked at by more people. Also, outsiders would be drawn to the site through topical parodies because these works will show up in a search engines. I have no secret - I write if I think I have something funny to say. As a news junkie, I just tend to do topical parodies - it's just what interests me. I can tell you though that I've found other sites linking to some of my parodies - as well as several other Amiright writers' parodies. For example, there is a Christian website that has posted several Amiright parodies on its site - even if the parodies are not pro-religion or pro-Christianity - I think it's called parodieties(?). I'd like to read yours - listed under the author "Chad"? Thanks again, bob
Chad - February 06, 2004 - Report this comment
This was posted Feb 4. 37 votes so far. The only Janet Jackson Superbowl parody? (Feb 2) (Feb 2) (Feb 3) (Feb 5) (Feb 5) (Feb 5)
None of them have received anywhere near that many votes.
Johnny D - February 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Got milk? Nope - got fives!
Robert J. Pagliaro - February 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Chad: Thanks for the links - I had seen Claude's but hadn't seen Guy's or Bob Gomez's tunes - so I appreciate you pointing them out so I could cast my votes - all well done (as all of their stuff is). Spaff also is a clever writer - but at my age (42) I just don't know the original tunes that Spaff and the other writers used - so, unfortunately I can't vote on them. Still waiting to read your stuff. Thanks again, bob
Chad - February 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Here's my stuff:
I'm the one averaging under 50 votes per parody
Robert J. Pagliaro - February 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Coudn't find your name listed - what's it under?
MysteryGoat - February 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Dude that was funny as hell, i especially loved the fourth line on the first verse. This is the greatest thing i've seen on here in a while.
2nz - February 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Can't quite miss you on the way up the authors list. Your stuff's good, I'll give ya that. Not '36 straight 5's' good in my opinion, but at least 20 of 'em. And you know how to make a re-entrance, too. Before you disappear again, let me say hello and officially reserve a spot for you on at least one of the coming Chalupa awards. I'm trying to rekindle the Chalupa spirit that Wild Man started.
2nz - February 07, 2004 - Report this comment
I did one at the end of January, but from the looks of things, you already have a whole bunch of parodies to look through already. Let me know if you want the address.
ASHLEYSTVM - February 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey that wuz kick @$s!! Loved that. Wut i found funny wuz tehy showed janet n justin like 5 billiontimes, n they said almost nothing about the stripper. In my local paper, sum1 wrote an editorial about how "we should remember the game 4 the right reasons". That reason was a big 1 in my mind. nice job.~ashley
Jack Wilson - February 09, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Awesome job, 555!!!!!!!
Robert J. Pagliaro - February 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Continued thanks to all who voted and those who commented. 2nz - "hello" back at ya and thanks - sure, love to participate in the upcoming Chalupa Awards. Started to take a look at your stuff the other night and a few things came up - I'll try again later this week. And, post the address you want me to go to - I'll try anything once. Thanks again. bob
pickle - February 10, 2004 - Report this comment
It's great to know that threepenny bits on TV aren't just confined to Jordan and Mike Read having been on 'I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here'!
Royce Miller - February 12, 2004 - Report this comment
R. Pagliaro-The Beverly Hillbillies theme is so much fun to parody, and you've done a very fine job of it. I've read some of your other parodies as well, and they are outstanding.
Birgitta Lindsey - February 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Very very funny stuff,lol.I really like your style & graceful flow with the lyrics.I'll be reading everything else you've done,I'm sure. Thanks for sharing,& TC. -Birgitta
Robert J. Pagliaro - February 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Many more thanks. Royce - have admired your work from afar for quite sometime now, so your comments mean a lot. Birgitta, attempted to read your works the other night but as an old guy, I didn't know the tunes - I promise to listen to the originals and then go back to your parodies - in the meantime, thanks for doing "Hotel" - I tune I do know. bob
Royce Miller - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Robert Pagliaro-check your messages on the messageboard
Royce Miller - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
R. Pagliaro--Just click on messageboard, and at top right you see how many messages you have and you click on that--I guess you have to login first.
Robert J. Pagliaro - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Royce - thought I may have had to log in, but didn't have my log in/password at home last night. (Check your e-mail). Bob - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
In was directed by MysteryGoat to "Paul Hanning's 'Ballad of Janet Jackson'" - I assume he meant this. (Meanwhile, "Chad" plugged my parody here, so apparently happiness runs in a circular motion.) Anyhoo, great job as usual, RJP. It's becoming a tradition to await your Beverly Hillbillies response to each freak news event.
Baby Ben - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Another great one
Agrimorfee - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
feb 04 sotm--Usually the first one out of a topical news item is the best one. I don't know for sure in this case, but 555 just for the speedy delivery.
Johnny D - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM FEB) See above! Nip-a-dee-doo-dah!
2nz - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow, I was kind of a dick the first time I commented on this. 'Yes Bob, you don't deserve those votes that you've rightly earned...' Thank goodness all the votes went away and exposed me as the voting obsessed fool that I, was. Nice job with them Jackson sweater otters. Worthy of 36 straight 5's and then some, especially since you got it out the very day after.
Know 1 can hear you dream - September 11, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM FEB) This nipplerings a bell. I have no idea what that means but it seems a suitable comment and I do remember this parody from the first time around.
Paul Robinson - September 15, 2004 - Report this comment
(feb SOTM) - Bob, missed this first time around 'cuz I was computer-less during Feb this year so I had to use Library or pay at Kinko's - But I'm just in the nip of time for the re-visit for FEB SOTM contest - 5's.
Phil Nelson - September 17, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Wow, this was hilarious! Really good job. 5's - September 24, 2004 - Report this comment
What Spaff said. This is so good that it deserves to win an award from a group like, say, um, the Press Club of Dallas.
Phil Alexander - September 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Cute parody about what can only be described as a storm in a c-cup...
Claude Prez - September 27, 2004 - Report this comment
There were lots of songs on this topic but I always thought this one captured the moment best. "Texas teat", that's funny.
Peregrin - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Meriadoc - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Still udderly hilarious.
Jeff Reuben - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Great timing/turnaround time from the event =)
FEBRUARY 2004 SONG OF THE MONTH BRONZE MEDAL - October 01, 2004 - Report this comment;topic=3009.0;id=1745;image - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Comment #3: "Texas teat" is my highlight too. Picking Sir Paul for halftime this year reminds me of when Miss America chose a Utah Mormon the year after the Vanessa Williams thing. Sigh. I wish Macca woulda painted "FCC" on his ass and mooned the live cameras at the end of "Hey Jude." But he didn't, and now people are complaining that this year's halftime show was too tame. Ah, well, at least "scandals" divert our attention from important news.
Robert J. Pagliaro - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Spaff - thanks again - don't think "Texas Teat" made it in Dallas though. (I liked "Texas Teat" - but it was too easy). Hey, wasn't it just 40 years ago that Sir Paul was contributing to the moral decay of society? (The times they are a changin', I guess). And, how come nobody complained about "California grass"? Hey, at least we have the clever folks who put together the spot for - brilliant. There were actually two calls to Fox complaining that the halftime show was too tame (or was it lame?). Another two calls came in still complaining about Janet Jackson. Me? "Show breasts, not war" Later, bob
John Jenkins - February 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Well done, Robert. I liked the utterly obscene and the ending most.
2nz - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Still utterly funny.
vivian - August 01, 2005 - Report this comment
hilarious and brilliant. What would this website be without such a fabulous parody! great, that is!
Robert J. Pagliaro - August 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Vivian, thanks so much for the kind words. Your check is in the mail. And, what are you doing later tonight? Thanks again, bob
Morticon - January 23, 2007 - Report this comment
Maddy - March 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Two boobs up!! This was hilarious. I saw this linked on another website. Now I'll have to stop back to read your others.
Tony Mercado - January 09, 2008 - Report this comment
What a hooter. Now I'll lol everytime I see those pix. I don't know if this was intentional but I liked that you didn't mention the teams or who won.

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