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Song Parodies -> "The Ballad of Kobe Bryant"

Original Song Title:

"The Ballad of Jed Clampett"

Original Performer:

Paul Henning

Parody Song Title:

"The Ballad of Kobe Bryant"

Parody Written by:

Robert J. Pagliaro

The Lyrics

Come and listen to a story about a man named "Beef"
A young concierge who he sought for his relief
Began one day after ordering some food
Came up to his room but wasn't in the mood

Sex that is. Bed roll. The Nasty

Well the next thing you know ol' Beef was on the air
Most folk said "No, Kobe wouldn't dare"
Said "she was horny and the rape adultery"
Then he rounded up his wife and cried on live TV.

Bawled, that is. Streamin' tears. Waterworks.

But the jury didn't buy it, this girl was not a whore
Returned a guilty verdict now Kobe's serving four
Lotsa fans dejected and many did decree
If Cochrane was his lawyer, Kobe would be free

Johnny that is. OJ's man. Laker Fan.

Closing Theme:

Well now it's time to stop the lie and fess up to this sin.
His wife would like to thank that girl fer kindly droppin in.
You're all invited out to see his new locality
To watch him slam and dunkin' for the penetentiary

Prison that is. Share a cell. Take your laces off.

Watch your back now, y'hear?.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.4
How Funny: 3.4
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Michael Pacholek - August 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Of course Kobe couldn't pass her up. You know he can't pass.
Meriadoc - August 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Um.... guilty until proven innocent.....? But very funny parody!
The Weird Girl In The Corner Dressed In Mostly Black - August 05, 2003 - Report this comment
That parody was kickass! I lmfao! ^_^ Welllll see yall lataz! -The Weird Girl In The Corner Dressed In Mostly Black
Joan - August 08, 2003 - Report this comment
I thought it was great. Very funny. Needed a laugh amidst this sad situation.
Claude Prez - August 08, 2003 - Report this comment
Great stuff as usual. "Rounded up his wife and cried on live TV" was my favorite.
M. Marbury - August 11, 2003 - Report this comment
He is innocent, but this is very funny.
Joseph Hayes - August 12, 2003 - Report this comment
I find that most parodies here are poorly research and ill- prepared; they usually don't fit my criteria of "funny." Your parody meets all the criteria and is one of the better ones I've read at this site. I'll look forward to your next creation.
Robert J. Pagliaro - August 12, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks for such a nice comment Joseph - I really appreciate the feedback.
Robert J. Pagliaro - August 12, 2003 - Report this comment
I'm sorry - thanks to all. And, ah Meriadoc, I thought you were the right-winger? Which means, generally, you should be convicting him and I should be proclaiming his innocence - something's wrong here. (By the way, he did it.)
Erin - August 24, 2003 - Report this comment
That was brillaint!I was laughing my ass off!
Birgitta - February 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Robert,I got a kick out of this!! lol The Flatts (Mama Flatt,Lester,etc.) are like my 3rd or 4th cousins. Yep-I was born in Ft. Worth-all the Flatts are from Texas.(My biological grandmother was Jewel Flatt.) So,it's kind of an honor to see you doing parodies to Lester's tunes. Thx for the great parodies. :-D
Steve - May 06, 2005 - Report this comment
He was acquitted. . .didn't serve four.
Robert J. Pagliaro - May 18, 2005 - Report this comment
The charges were dismissed as the accuser refused to testify. However, this parody was written well before the case started. But thanks for reading it. bob
Litigious Creep - October 10, 2006 - Report this comment
I respectfully demand that this parody be pulled. In it, Mr. Pagliaro has libeled the great Basketball Player from Los Angeles. This is a crime. Thank you in advance for deleting this parody. lc
Request denied - October 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Creep: Because of lack of evidence, ignorance and the comment by the author immediately above your unsubstantiated request, your request is denied. Please go out and get an education; you might also want to look up the word libel. Thank you for visiting this site.
Litigious Creep - October 10, 2006 - Report this comment
AMIRIGHT EDITORS: The following sentence is fiction and libelous: "Returned a guilty verdict now Kobe's serving four." There never was a guilty verdict issued to Kobe Bryant in a rape case. I resent the fact that lies are allowed to be passed on as facts - I will report this as inappropriate. Either take out the line or take down parody. I have no problem with the author changing the line - but that line must go. Thank you
Request Denied - October 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Dear Creep: Again, please look up the word "libel". Also, we respectfully request that you read all the comments in the comment section. In it, you will see that the author points out the real outcome of the trial. Finally, the parody was submitted after Mr. Bryant's arrest and before the result of the trial. Therefore, the body of work is deemed "parody" by definition and thus protected under the First Amendment. (You may want to read up on the Bill of Rights." Thank you again for visiting this site and we hope you continue to enjoy the vast creativity displayed here. T

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