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Song Parodies -> "I Stood With Pants Alight (Flight 253)"

Original Song Title:

"I Could Have Danced All Night"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

My Fair lady

Parody Song Title:

"I Stood With Pants Alight (Flight 253)"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

The Christmas Underbomber was questioned for only 50 minutes at a hospital while being sedated, then read Miranda Rights upon awakening. Any further information will result from plea bargaining, far too late to warn of any imminent terror attacks. I found that TOS was more adaptable to this story than Sixty Minute Man or Five Minutes More.
Umar: Bled! Red! I couldn't blow them dead!
I meant to light the sky o'er Windsor town! [1]
Weep! Weep! I should have slept tonight
With six dozen virgins, Allah's crown!

I stood with pants alight;
I took that chance, all right,
And still have legs so sore.
I should have shredded wings,
From one small pouch that clings, [2]
And severed one E door. [3]

I'll never know what made it slow igniting;
Why all at once my parts looked bright.
I only know when he tore off my pants to see, [4]
I could have danced, danced, danced in fright!

[50-minute interrogation from 2:15]

Doctor: It's after three now.
Nurse: Don't you agree now?
He ought to be in bed.

Umar: They should have asked, "More flights?"
Before they read my rights;
Now they must beg for more.
I could have fed them things
That early warnings bring
Of clever plans in store.

I'll never know what made them give up asking;
Why call me dunce? I'm smart, shut tight.
I'm lonely, though I see
That Rights Bill grants to me
An equal chance with rants to fight! [5]
[1] The event occurred over Canada, nearing Windsor, Ontario.
[2] Liquid or gel explosive attached to his undergarment.
[3] Emergency exit; his seat was 19A over the left wing.
[4] The "Flying Dutchman" who leapt across the plane to subdue him.
[5] His criminal trial will give him a propaganda stage.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   7
 6
 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Dana Mathewson - January 27, 2010 - Report this comment
Barry, you're in excellent form. Certainly much better than that hot-pants dude -- not to mention those who are doing their best to let him skate.
Old Man Ribber - January 27, 2010 - Report this comment
Death to the Shaw! (I couldn't resist that one) Worthy of Lerner and Loewe...and BJM as well. ;D
Barry J. Mitchel - January 27, 2010 - Report this comment
In line 12, I'd change "my parts" to the more specific "thigh parts" and in line 14 "danced, danced, danced" to "glanced askance" to reflect his blank expression and passivity after failing.
John Barry - January 27, 2010 - Report this comment
Pants burned midflight
He had to let dick, balls hang out
unKnownVO - January 27, 2010 - Report this comment
. . . if your 'conDiction' last more than 4 hours, please call your physician !
Christie Marie M - January 27, 2010 - Report this comment
Now imagine dancing stark naked with this song at the airport? Ditto to all comments above! I also love how you brought the doctor and nurse in the story. Heck, if this parody of yours was made into a musical, I wondered who would be best to play the scene of Umar from your song. Flying Flight 555 with this one!
Fiddlegirl - January 27, 2010 - Report this comment
ROFL!!!! $555 up in smoke... (and you're absolutely right about the propaganda stage-- why do we play into that little game?)
Barry J. Mitchel - January 27, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks to all above for c/v. I originally thought to write "talked all night" but the lyrics morphed elsewhere.
@ CMM: In TOS it's Servant 1 & Servant 2; I skipped Mrs. Pearce & a 3rd cycle.

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