Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire
Take a nip of Jack Frost's nose
Yuletide Carole being cooked with her choir
And pies, made from real Eskimos

Everybody gnaws some Turks and some Armenians
When they're seasoned up just right
Tiny tots with their skins all aglow
Buttered for a midnight snack tonight

We know that Santa's on his way
We're going to stuff and barbecue him in his sleigh
And every cannibal is going to try
To see how many elves and midgets he can fry

And so I'm offering these recipes
For humans one to ninety-two
You can grill them and bake them in so many ways
Happy dining, ghastly dining
To you