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Song Parodies -> "I Lured Him With Some Grape Wine"

Original Song Title:

"I Heard It Through The Grapevine"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Marvin Gaye

Parody Song Title:

"I Lured Him With Some Grape Wine"

Parody Written by:

Dee Range

The Lyrics

I think most would agree that Jacko is a sick sick man(?) Imagine him singing this during his cross-examination during his trial, where, during a Perry Mason -like moment, he breaks down and confesses. P.S. ...Con fused is not a typo... it is two words :-)
Ooh, I met him wandering through the zoo
I had plans, I always do
With some little guy, 'bout three foot four
Even though it just ain't wise
I've done it lots before

Never thought he'd cry out, that I'm gay
But they found out anyway
Yeah he told them I

Lured him with some grape wine
Not much longer 'till my jail time
Yeah I lured him with some grape wine
I was just hopin' for a big fine
Money money yeah
(Lured him with some grape wine
So much hunger 'cause he's
Just a baby, ooh ooh ooh)

I know a man ain't supposed to sleep
With small kids, but I'm outta sheep
Boozin' them is my seduction ploy
That don't work, I offer toys

I must have leeee-ft prints on belts
'Cause one glove's somewhere else
Oh yeah I

Lured him with some grape wine
"Bout a hundred years of jail time
Yeah I lured him with some grape wine
Oh this reminds me of the last time
Payoff money yeah
(Lured him with some grape wine
So much hunger 'cause he's
Just a baby, ooh ooh ooh)

Will you be relieved when I'm in the clink
Fun it's not, from what I hear
I'll need help or I'll be con fused
They'll just love my little rear

Do they plan to make me 'ho?
Like the little guys I fudged before
Wish I hadn't

Lured him with some grape wine
Not much longer 'till my jail time
Babies, I lured 'em with some grape wine
It reminds me of the last time
(Lured him with some grape wine
So much hunger 'cause he's
Just a baby, ooh ooh ooh)

Now I shouldn't sleep with kids and all
But they don't make male blow up dolls
Boozing them's my seduction ploy
That don't work, I offer toys

I should have played with myself
But I love little elfs
So Yeah I

Lured him with some grape wine
Won't be long until my jail time
Oh, I lured him with some grape wine
Yeah it's all about the bump and grind
Sonny sonny, yeah

I just can't believe I'll be doin' time
Soon, I'll be a butch caboose
It won't help, while being con fused
That O.J.'s still runnin' loose

They don't plan to let me go
Like the other guy I bribed before
Yeah they know I

Lured him with some grape wine
Case is stronger than a land mine
Babies, I lured 'em with the grape wine
Ooh, I guess I musta' bruised behinds
Sonny sonny yeah
(Lured 'em with some grape wine
So much hunger 'cause he's
Just a baby, yeah yeah yeah)

Money, money I know
Why they once let me go
Said I lured 'em with some grape wine
Ooh, I lured 'em with some grape wine

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   19
 19
 19
 

User Comments

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Johnny D - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Eeee-YIKES! But very well-written, Dee!
alvin rhodes - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
OK...you had me laughing with the title before i ever read this song.. too funny...5s
Dee Range - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny and alvin, thanks for the nice comments
Mari D - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Ooooh! That smarts! There are some great lines in this one, including the one about the one glove and the male blow-up dolls!
Michael Pacholek - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
No sour grapes here. Fives... or should that be a fifth?
2Eagle - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Clever.
Dee Range - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Mari, Michael, and 2Eagle, many thanks for comments
Royce Miller - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Dee-title is a winner and interesting parody
Dee Range - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Royce, thanks for reading and commenting. Much appreciated
Serafina - September 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Missed this one the other day 'cause I was so busy. I just read it and added my vote to the pile of perfect 5-5-5 votes. Nicely done. :)
Dee Range - September 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Serafina, thanks so much for reading and commenting
Know 1 can hear you dream - September 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Itīs a parodists obligation to have written at least one parody about Wacko Jacko, Frighty Whitey, Treehanger Boybanger or whatever nick for him you prefer. 555 and a shameless self promotion:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/alicecooper0.shtml

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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