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Song Parodies -> "Cant Upsets the Witness"

Original Song Title:

"Can I Get A Witness"

Original Performer:

Marvin Gaye

Parody Song Title:

"Cant Upsets the Witness"

Parody Written by:

Tort Tussler

The Lyrics

We don’t know the gender body (body)
Could be He or Girl (girl)
But if ti# deems one a drone
One’s efforts will make ti, the Witness, groan
“One tries not hard,” I think ti would say
So one should grieve, grieve indeed
That ti, ti should be feeling that way
It hurts one so inside to realize one’s so unkind
All one can say is that life just ain’t fair

Crap upsets the Witness (cant upsets the Witness)
Who judges fitness to be deemed witless
Then one could end up on ti’s hitlist

It’s not right to be treated so bad
For lack of empathy one should be sad
So sad, in fact, one should weep
Mistreatment of ti makes one a creep
When one’s at perigee in one’s puerile efforts at parody
Things one can do to make ti rue
Are just not OK!

But still one keeps on boring with one’s ill-timed rhymes
And so it goes on a tune sight where one keeps tryin’
The good news is that someday one’s run will end
One will run out of steam and in no more will send
Feinting spells can cause such misery
Which is not pal empathy
Can one care, if one submits such bad fare?

Cant upsets the Witness (crap upsets the Witness)
One’s upsets the Witness (upsets the Witness)............

One wishes that one were not such a churl
Many chances one’s had, but one simply can’t transcend cant
Was one once at apogee in previous efforts at parody?
Sad to say that the answer isn’t “yeah, yeah, yeah”
As per the Witness (crap upsets the Witness)…

It’s not right to be treated so bad
And for such treatment one should be so sad
So sad one should take breaths deep
And into a distant corner creep
But one simply cannot see the forest if focused on the trees
Not the beautiful canopy, just yew, yew. Hew!

Crap upsets the Witness (cant upsets the Witness)
Who judges fitness to be deemed witless
Can’t upset the Witness, or be on his/her shitlist.................

#pronounced “tee”, a transposition of “it”, once proposed as a unisex singular nominative or objective pronoun to replace the awkward “he/she” and “him/her” constructions

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

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